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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
I've been thinking about this quote a lot lately and I think it relates greatly to my depression and suicidal thoughts.

I keep trying to find reasons to live and doing things I normally wouldn't in an attempt to cure my depression and make my life less insufferable, but obviously none of it has worked and im doubtful after years upon years of trying that anything ever will work.

So that brings me to my point, why am I continuously doing the same thing over and over again and expecting to magically get better? The only way I'm ever going to get better is by simply not existing because there is nothing in this world for me.

Can anyone relate to what im saying?
 
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logan

logan

Warlock
May 20, 2021
705
The quote is definitely correct.

Many things we do out of habit or unconsciously from our subconscious.

If you want to achieve a change, you definitely have to change your actions and thinking.

But that definitely takes a lot of energy, discipline and perseverance.
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
I can totally relate. I'm like, what if I don't wanna try and don't see any point in doing so? What about the fact that I just see ho hope, have no hope. I don't have energy for much. I just know that whatever I do, I won't stop hating myself, won't get better. No matter what I do this fucked up world won't change. That's the reality of things.
Stop existing is my only option too.
 
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L

Lostandlooking

In limbo
Jul 23, 2020
471
Bit different maybe, I don't know. But I can also relate to the quote. I've been trying very hard now for a long time. Different therapies, different workplaces. And through it all (till last year) I kept trying. Mostly by talking about things, I also tried meditation seriously for a number of years, tried a number of different medications. I kept trying to keep myself safe. I kept believing in things like authenticity. In kindness and compassion. But now I'm realizing, to survive I can't keep those values, they're worthless in today's society. Talking to people feels so awful. But there's no way around it. Honestly, I don't know what to do to get a different outcome than death. No matter what I do things turn to shit. Work hard and be honest, you'll get fucked over. Try working on yourself and talking to therapists, you'll still get fucked over. Give in to depression and hate, people will blame you for not trying.
 
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logan

logan

Warlock
May 20, 2021
705
Bit different maybe, I don't know. But I can also relate to the quote. I've been trying very hard now for a long time. Different therapies, different workplaces. And through it all (till last year) I kept trying. Mostly by talking about things, I also tried meditation seriously for a number of years, tried a number of different medications. I kept trying to keep myself safe. I kept believing in things like authenticity. In kindness and compassion. But now I'm realizing, to survive I can't keep those values, they're worthless in today's society. Talking to people feels so awful. But there's no way around it. Honestly, I don't know what to do to get a different outcome than death. No matter what I do things turn to shit. Work hard and be honest, you'll get fucked over. Try working on yourself and talking to therapists, you'll still get fucked over. Give in to depression and hate, people will blame you for not trying.
Maybe you just haven't found your purpose or the right place yet - but you're trying and that's good.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,878
I feel like there is nothing in this world for me as well. In my case, I believe my existence is one big mistake, I have no place here and I am not meant for this life. I see life as a constant struggle, and in the end it is all pointless and not worth it,we only exist just to die. Any hope I have had in the past has never lasted long.

There is nothing that can help me and change the way that I see things. Wanting to ctb is a rational response to a life like mine. There is no way for me to 'get better'. Death is my only solution as it solves all my problems. I take great comfort from thinking about my death.
 
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