I don't know if my words even matter or will help your situation but this is giving Munchausen by Proxy and I'm very sad and frustrated on your behalf.
You seem dyslexic or like you have ADHD or some type of neurodivergence which would've been VERY treatable to the point where most people can't even tell that you have an LD if your guardians gave enough of a shit to intervene and get you school support and found tutors for you.
I really think you have the potential to be someone great, and you are surprisingly eloquent for someone who literally learned nothing in school and was just barely surviving through life, but your mom literally stunted your growth and education and put you under what seems to be a conservatorship because she seems lonely (I saw somewhere that your dad passed) and you're probably the only person she has so she doesn't want you to grow up and "abandon" her hence why you're in this state.
Again, I know my words won't save you, and you are likely cooked because you signed your rights away. But I hope that you can dig your way out of this because conservatorships are so fucking hard to escape.
I was wondering that, but it's more of a Eugenia and her mom situation where's she's blocked ways of me getting better or did nothing. Sometimes I wish I was famous like her so someone would help me. You might be right about the dyslexic thing, I have some reading issues so sometimes I've used that text to speech thing for super long webpages I wanted to read.
I had teachers point my problems out to me before and it was embarrassing. I never got diagnosed with anything so idk. Looking back I now realize I probably shouldn't have signed it. I don't think it's as bad as a conservatorship, but she originally said it would help me, and I kept asking her how and I forget what she said. But nothing changed, so now I'm like damn I knew that shit was useless. She has mentioned before how she wants me to take care of her when she's old so I am guessing she expects me to just stay here with her? I don't know, because how would I be able to take care of her when I have no car, job, and can't drive? Makes no sense.
I'm thinking I'll just plan to leave anyways, even if she calls the police again I'll make sure to think of something to say beforehand. I'm still asking around figuring out what to do bc unfortunately I live in a state that has a 51/50 possibility, which I hate.
Being here has been terrible. The mental side effects are hard to explain without sounding like a crazy person. But I appreciate your comment. I worry sometimes the damage to my brain might be permanent so I've been talking to a couple ppl in different states who claim to have been suicidal for a while, idk if we'll meet up. If there were shelters for ppl like me I'd just go there for a while and ask around. Sometimes I think living in a tent doesn't seem so bad compared to this. The mosquitoes are crazy here, so going outside is already so hard
my moms or her bf leave stuff outside like buckets and plant pots so it's like mosquito city here! My mom doesn't get it bc she has a different blood type so they don't bite here, another thing I can't talk to her about. *sigh*
TLDR: thanks for saying I have potential, it means a lot. I've seen ur comments around and u are seriously so kind and helpful to not just me, but many others on this site
