If I could go back in time, I'd kill myself earlier

[artificialpasta]

I used to think a lot about going back in time and changing my mistakes.
Now I think my entire life is a mistake. I'd kill myself sooner, when I had the chance.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Very common

For me it was Christmas 2019. That was the perfect moment. The next perfect moment is late spring 2020.

 

[FreedomInDeath]

Yes I would prefer to just stop my conception. I know people use that as an insult but yeah would have been better if I ended up somewhere else or it didn't happen.

 

[Notabadguy]

If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have done a big mistake, and I could have go on with my regular happy life.

 

[Mr2005]

I get it I think. You can kill you without it being you. My young self was an arsehole. I might slap him but that's it. Could save sixteen years in 24 hours. I think that's worse than not thinking it would make a difference. If by some miracle you come into contact with time travel technology please send it my way. I'm fucking desperate

 

[Polly]

Yeah if my life had ended three years ago it would have been much better.

 

[Donk]

i wish i would have kms before i met my wife. she has been so supportive of me. i love her to death. i'm hesitate to ctb knowing how much it will hirt her.

 

[RileyTanaka]

I know how you feel. I should have exited about 2 years ago and I selfishly stayed only to hurt more people.

 

[whereispeace]

I tried to CTB before, and I wish it was successful. Things have only gotten worse since then.

 

[omoidarui]

I used to think a lot about going back in time and changing my mistakes.

is there any truth in the old saying that if you hadn't made those mistakes, you wouldn't be the person you are now?

 

[Polly]

Given my circumstances I can't be the person I was meant to be.

 

[sadgirl2002]

Same here, I should have killed myself when I was 13. My birth was a mistake, I've been through more and more pain as the years passed, is it even worth it?

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I wish I was successful when I tried
I wish I wasn't weak

 

[Dead beat dad]

I used to think a lot about going back in time and changing my mistakes.
Now I think my entire life is a mistake. I'd kill myself sooner, when I had the chance.

Feel this brother. Feel it a lot. Still people load you with a diet of hope and possibility on one hand and take it away with the other.
Good luck my brother
DBD

 

[Woodnote]

I know how you feel. I should've killed myself a long time ago.

 

[Nem]

There are a few key mistakes I made. The major one was getting into a relationship with a sociopath, that caused the absolute majority of problems. If I would've been successful in my suicide attempt after that fiasco, I'd be okay right now
Peace/hugs

 

[racek]

a relationship with a sociopath

That is a nice one

 

[selfhater]

well...i would too but i've always didn't have an easy way to ctb cuz i live with my family 24/7 but i would do anything to go back and try it more if i knew the future "now" is so horrific

 

[eksded]

I agree. I wish I had killed myself 8 years ago when I had my first attempt. Things have only gotten worse since.

 

[Kokichi]

Yeah, I agree. I had been planning to ctb when I turned 18 from the time I started middle school, pretty much. Now I'm 19 and super regret not doing it when I told myself I would

 

[calendulo]

I am totally agree with the thread, well my entire life wasn't a mistake.
Put off or postpone this kind of decision is a huge mistake.

 

[alwayssearching]

I used to think a lot about going back in time and changing my mistakes.
Now I think my entire life is a mistake. I'd kill myself sooner, when I had the chance.

That's exactly how I feel. When I was young, I didn't think I'd make to 16...then 23...then 30...and so on...I kept "trying and trying" to build a life and "get help" but never was able to fully connect to anything or anyone.

I can't give anyone any advice at all here, but I'm 52 now and look back on my entire life with pain and I regret every choice that I made and every choice that was made for me, and man, do I ever wish I had just ended it sooner. Just something for you young bloods to consider.

On one hand, things COULD get better. You COULD create a life that you love.

But sitting here in this body I don't recognize anymore, looking through eyes that don't see as well, and remembering all of that "potential " I had when I was 17 and "my whole life was ahead of me", now I look backwards and all that shit is behind me now. And I see nothing on the path ahead of me but darkness and emptiness.

It didn't matter how high I climbed or famous I got or how much I achieved, I never stopped hating that little 5 year old girl inside me who knew she didn't deserve anything good. Sorry my posts are so long; I didn't realize I had so much shit to get out.

I just know that from the time I was 13 and collecting bottles of Ny-tol in my bedroom til now, I've never wanted anything else but to not be here. I don't know what the right answer is, but I feel like I have wasted 52 years in a life I never wanted and never asked for. Cheers.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I will really really try hard next time, now I know it's not going to get better.

 

[alwayssearching]

I will really really try hard next time, now I know it's not going to get better.

I'm only telling you my experience, sweet KiraLittleOwl, you are young, you never know...things could turn out completely different for you and you could be living this beautiful life that you never dreamed you could have. It could happen for you. Maybe the place you are in now is not the place you are destined to stay. I feel like I am the exception, not the rule. Keep talking with people here, you never know, my dear.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I'm only telling you my experience, sweet KiraLittleOwl, you are young, you never know...things could turn out completely different for you and you could be living this beautiful life that you never dreamed you could have. It could happen for you. Maybe the place you are in now is not the place you are destined to stay. I feel like I am the exception, not the rule. Keep talking with people here, you never know, my dear.

Thank you for your kind words. But it extremely unlikely that I ever be happy.
I have blown my only chance, only made things worse.
Can't live with regret and frustration.
And btw I am not so young, I am 37.

 

[Smashingairwaves]

Same. I wish I did it a year ago. I've been here for far too long

 

[throwaway123]

I used to think that too but seeing how bad it all got and the inevitability of it was important to make my decision to CTB solidify. Remember this: You always kill yourself too late.

 

[ritsulover]

If I could go back in time I'd never go see psychiatric help so I could be able to buy a gun and kill myself easier. Now I have to resort to partial which hasn't been successful so far. Honestly my biggest regret in life

 

[alwayssearching]

Thank you for your kind words. But it extremely unlikely that I ever be happy.
I have blown my only chance, only made things worse.
Can't live with regret and frustration.
And btw I am not so young, I am 37.

Heehee, sorry. Of course your name made me think you were younger because of the word little. My bad But your feelings are valid and I understand where you are coming from because I feel many of the same.

 

[mediocre]

I remember being close to doing it in 2009 but so was clueless then:/