Venting If I cant live the life i want, why live?

[jazzcat621]

The life i want to live is traveling around in an RV with my found family, exploring new place, trying new things, spending time with probably the coolest group of people ever. They belong to a sort of kink/alternate lifestyle community im also in. That would be the best way to live for me.

The problem is its so hard to get to. I have a lot of debt, and they wouldnt have enough room for me and my partners. We would need our own rv. It seems so near impossible to get to. I have one shot of hope in that I can get disability, but its not easy to get on. If it all fails, then why bother trying? I cant do a normal life of 9-5 living at home. It nearly killed me last time i tried. So if it all fails, why bother?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

If there is something you can't have and cannot accept not having it, then suicide can appear sound. I am in a similar boat.

You'd have to do a lot of assessing though. Whether that thing truly is inaccessible. Whether you truly can't accept not having that thing. Whether its absence truly constitutes reasonable grounds for suicide.

If the financial barriers to this dream life of yours are the main obstacle, could working towards surmounting be a goal you can devote yourself to? It would certainly take a lot of time, patience, and work but would that be preferable to death!