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GreenBanana23

GreenBanana23

Suicidal Banana
Mar 5, 2023
79
Here's my own dilemma on the matter:
I keep getting the idea that it would be great to just drop everything and fly to Mexico then CTB, however, I also keep getting the idea that I should keep living. I've been having on and off thoughts about CTBing for a while now. How do you find out whether or not to CTB and how do you define your personal tipping point? I'd like to here other people's situations regarding this dilemma, I'm sure others are feeling this too.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,854
I guess that after all only you know if suicide is the way you want to die, I just think it's a feeling one has where they know that they are certain. I personally see it as always being preferable to cease existing and I'm fully aware that suicide is the most logical option but I'm trapped here because suicide just is so unnecessarily difficult in this world, I hate how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible.
 
I

isitjustme

Member
Jun 14, 2023
20
It's not easy. I would say the only clear situations are for permanent issues (crippling disability, incurable illness that will get worse with time etc...).
Other than that you can never be too sure. My tipping point was after years of debilitating depression with no clear root cause for it. I couldn't even rationalize. Unemployment, grief, sadness, debt, relationship issues etc.. none applied to me. It was just hopeless.
I had a hard time finding a good and reliable way of doing it, didn't want to end in an even worse place I was already in. I ended up saying eff it and made some drastic DRASTIC changes in my life. Idk if it helped but for a few years I was my old self, full of hope, dreams, aspirations and love. Then it came back...

Turns out there are a lot of different types of depression lol.

I'd say try to figure out why you wanna do it and why you don't. If you can't figure it out you can try therapy (I haven't yet. I might. Not sure. Maybe meds could help me? Again no idea).

If you can figure it out, then can you solve whatever's the problem? If not can you live with it?

In the end all this is very rich coming from a fellow human being who is just as lost as you are and still looking for answers myself 😄.
 
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GreenBanana23

GreenBanana23

Suicidal Banana
Mar 5, 2023
79
It's not easy. I would say the only clear situations are for permanent issues (crippling disability, incurable illness that will get worse with time etc...).
Other than that you can never be too sure. My tipping point was after years of debilitating depression with no clear root cause for it. I couldn't even rationalize. Unemployment, grief, sadness, debt, relationship issues etc.. none applied to me. It was just hopeless.
I had a hard time finding a good and reliable way of doing it, didn't want to end in an even worse place I was already in. I ended up saying eff it and made some drastic DRASTIC changes in my life. Idk if it helped but for a few years I was my old self, full of hope, dreams, aspirations and love. Then it came back...

Turns out there are a lot of different types of depression lol.

I'd say try to figure out why you wanna do it and why you don't. If you can't figure it out you can try therapy (I haven't yet. I might. Not sure. Maybe meds could help me? Again no idea).

If you can figure it out, then can you solve whatever's the problem? If not can you live with it?

In the end all this is very rich coming from a fellow human being who is just as lost as you are and still looking for answers myself 😄.
You know I've started to reconsider some things. When you said drastic changes my mind clicked and I'm starting to ponder how I could vanish from my country and move somewhere in Latin America and just start a brand new life. I already speak the languages that could be asked of me so survival would be no issue. Idk maybe this is a dumb idea but it sounds just as appealing as CTB and just living this life.
 
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