Venting I wish kind words could see me through

[deepinlimbo]

I know my family and friends have the best intentions and only want me to get better but when does their
and unrealistic optimism run out?

they always tell me I'm not a quitter but I know I'm dragging my ordeal and ultimately failed existence out.

I will never even be half the man my father is,I have let him down and made him ill. he's so broken and it's all my fault despite him saying otherwise and the horrible part is he wants nothing more than for me to be well.

I will never know what it is like to hold my own child and see my children have kids of their own. I will never be able to experience a lot of what life can offer for those who are well.

I just don't know what I'm doing anymore? Why do I keep plodding along? Is it because I don't have my method? I feel I've failed everyone in my life. I cry like a child everyday now it's pathetic for someone in their late 20s who should be living in their prime. I broke down again yesterday and just couldn't cope. Do I have to keep feeling this way? I can't keep doing it anymore and I'm so tired.


I really badly wanted a family and I wanted to live until age takes me. ( I know not everyone here feels that way and I get that and I respect your reasons)

Now I know it will have to be myself taking me out of the equation. I really don't want to die guys. I just know I can't be fixed. I'm in The kind of dilemma that leaves me feeling so trapped. I can never find the appropriate words to describe it…

I really want it to end before my birthday. I don't think I can stomach celebrating something like that. Not my life. Certainly not now and getting older is just making my issues worse.

 

[FuneralCry]

This life can be exhausting, and it can be hard when we feel like we are in a hopeless situation. Many people don't want to die, they just want the pain to end. I know what it is like to dread the future. I wish you well.

 

[deepinlimbo]

This life can be exhausting, and it can be hard when we feel like we are in a hopeless situation. Many people don't want to die, they just want the pain to end. I know what it is like to dread the future. I wish you well.

Thanks