I wish I were like so many people here

[dudebl]

This isn't to knock anybody, but I see so many posts about mundane things "what song will you listen to when you kick the bucket" as an example.

Me, who gives an eff, I want to die, I want to know how to get over the survival instinct, I just want a method that works without chance of failure. I want out.

I scream everyday how bad I want out I don't have the energy to think about music or whatever else.

I am so trapped and in this prison of a life. I just want out.

I wish my state of thinking or life let me think of these things or care - but I'm here to die. It's over for me.

Rant over - can I do it tomorrow? Probably. Will I? Probably not, I'm a pussy and would rather wallow than to let my balls finally drop, be a man, and take care of the issue like a man and do it.

But nope I'll sit here and pussy out, time after time and sit and bitch about it.

God effin almighty, just let me take life, give me the power to stop being a pussy and do it already.

 

[blissfulness]

do you listen to music much? maybe not recently but do you have any favorite genres?

 

[dudebl]

do you listen to music much? maybe not recently but do you have any favorite genres?

Nope

 

[blissfulness]

Nope

thats fair. if you ever have time though, theres always some good music out there. I always have suggestions but you probs wouldnt like it LOL

 

[dudebl]

thats fair. if you ever have time though, theres always some good music out there. I always have suggestions but you probs wouldnt like it LOL

Appreciate it, but as I said I'm here to die, I'm not here to discuss living things.

It's just getting the ball's to do it.

 

[blissfulness]

aw i mustve read the post wrong my bad. i wish you the best though

 

[dudebl]

aw i mustve read the post wrong my bad. i wish you the best though

It's ok I know you're just trying to help, but I'm not helpable.

 

[blissfulness]

i know i probably cant help you especially when youre not looking for that... but distractions can be nice sometimes, even though its only temporary right?

 

[Off_Switch]

This forum definitely feels like it has gotten polluted with a lot of stream-of-consciousness spam posts in the past year.

 

[Rainork]

This isn't to knock anybody, but I see so many posts about mundane things "what song will you listen to when you kick the bucket" as an example.

Me, who gives an eff, I want to die, I want to know how to get over the survival instinct, I just want a method that works without chance of failure. I want out.

I scream everyday how bad I want out I don't have the energy to think about music or whatever else.

I am so trapped and in this prison of a life. I just want out.

I wish my state of thinking or life let me think of these things or care - but I'm here to die. It's over for me.

Rant over - can I do it tomorrow? Probably. Will I? Probably not, I'm a pussy and would rather wallow than to let my balls finally drop, be a man, and take care of the issue like a man and do it.

But nope I'll sit here and pussy out, time after time and sit and bitch about it.

God effin almighty, just let me take life, give me the power to stop being a pussy and do it already.

I do kind of feel you. I don't think it's as loud for me.
Whilst figuring out all the technicalities around my method, I thought about this exact thing at one point. I questioned if I should pick out a song to listen to just before leaving.
The only answer I kept coming to is that I don't really care, before that I hadn't even thought about if I'd have music playing.
I think it's like you said, I don't care and will be more focused on managing to do what I'm there to do and doing it properly.

 

[Cosmophobic]

You probably don't want to hear this but you're not a pussy for not being able to overcome the basic instinct to survive. It's got nothing to do with being a man and telling yourself that shit is just adding another layer of suffering.

 

[DoublingDown]

This is so unbelievably relatable… I just can't fathom planning to that degree. Even a note seems like too much effort. Music, signs, delayed messages. It's all too much for a life that's already too much to handle.

 

[ylenol]

If it helps you put things into perspective, just imagine people who died by jumping off a building or in front of train tracks reading your post. In your words, you're ''sitting here and pussying out, then bitching about it'' behind a computer on an online forum. They'd probably perceive you no differently than you see people here who talk about mundane things.

 

[Aergia]

If it helps you put things into perspective, just imagine people who died by jumping off a building or in front of train tracks reading your post. In your words, you're ''sitting here and pussying out, then bitching about it'' behind a computer on an online forum. They'd probably perceive you no differently than you see people here who talk about mundane things.

OP said he didn't mean to knock anybody. It was just a vent, and an understandable one. In a sense I can relate.