Venting I WISH A GUN WOULD JUST FALL INTO MY HANDS ALREADY

[AngelTear]

My food stamps are ending on the 31st
I need to be employed to keep receiving them and I can't find a job to save my life
I still need to get my GED and register with a program before my birthday in April
I'm barely functioning but every FUCKING body thinks I'm somehow ok and puts more pressure on me

My mom just gets more and more mentally ill and my dad gets more physically ill too
My parents can't take care of me and I can't stand living with them, I fucking hate them
I have no one in my corner, no advocates, NOTHING
Not a single person in the world to help me fight

I don't know what the fuck to do
Because I know shit ain't gonna be alright
And I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of being gaslit, I'm tired of being neglected, I'm tired of not being taken seriously...
I'm tired of the abuse of being alive

I want it to stop so fucking bad but no matter how much I cry or scream or hope or wish

IT

NEVER

FUCKING

STOPS

Why can't anything good happen to me? Why do I have to be cursed to just suffer?
I hope a gun finds it way into my hands so that I can end this misery once and for all

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so terrible and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering and torture in existing, I hope you find the peace you search for.