Venting I want to cry but there are no tears

[constantstruggle]

Every day I feel like I'm drowning in my own sorrows, fears, terror. I look normal on the outside but chaos inside. Nothing is working, councilling, therapy, other. I want to cry but nothing, I want to scream, nothing. I cant move I cant breath. How can life be so all consuming? I want to run away, disappear under a rock. I want to give up, but don't have the guts to give out.... Thank you for listening, just needed a vent.

 

[darksouls]

hello welcome on sasu

 

[constantstruggle]

Thank you .

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I haven't cried in years. The part of me that could do that, just isn't there anymore.

 

[stink144]

Real

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to SaSu!

 

[Mooncry]

Right?? Like, I want so badly to have a genuine, messy, ugly, loud cry/breakdown, but I can only cry a few tears at a time. I think maybe I've numbed myself to my pain, or maybe all of my emotional repression over the years has made it so I can't feel the depth of my emotions anymore. It's part of the reason I don't feel compelled enough to CTB… I'm always hurting, but it's a repressed hurting, and it's not strong enough for me to feel like I urgently need to go. It makes sense I suppose, since the entire reason I repress is out of survival, but now it's come back to bite me…

 

[constantstruggle]

Right?? Like, I want so badly to have a genuine, messy, ugly, loud cry/breakdown

I would love to have a good ugly cry! A good messy ugly cry. I wish I could stop repressing my hurt, while at the same time if I do it becomes too overwhelming. Dammed if I do, dammed if you don't.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I understand just wanting to disappear, I wish you the best.