Venting I thought things were getting better

[4Kumo7]

During the past year I've been doing really well thanks to Him, but now that He's gone, I feel myself slipping back into my old mentality.
I don't want to die anymore because the hope of seeing Him again gives me enough reasons to live, but going back to old habits hurts, especially when I thought I had finally overcome it.

 

[timf]

Getting a boost from someone else shows you what is possible. It may be that some of what you got from another you could duplicate on your own. In a way it might be seen as a gift.

 

[4Kumo7]

Getting a boost from someone else shows you what is possible. It may be that some of what you got from another you could duplicate on your own. In a way it might be seen as a gift.

Yeah, it is indeed possible like you said, but I just don't find the motivation to try when he's not around. I feel too lonely and those thoughts were what always helped me before meeting him.
I appreciate your words tho♡

 

[Kanashii]

Very sorry to hear, and I know it's hard to even want to to try when someone you loved isn't around anymore. The same thing happened to me but I persevered and kept trying to go forward, and tried finding more reasons to live. It can be hard and it's not always easy, nothings ever easy. But we have to keep going somehow. There's a lot of people hereto support you and chat when you need it. I hope things get better for you soon. Perseverence is the best advice I can give.

 

[4Kumo7]

Very sorry to hear, and I know it's hard to even want to to try when someone you loved isn't around anymore. The same thing happened to me but I persevered and kept trying to go forward, and tried finding more reasons to live. It can be hard and it's not always easy, nothings ever easy. But we have to keep going somehow. There's a lot of people hereto support you and chat when you need it. I hope things get better for you soon. Perseverence is the best advice I can give.

I really appreciate your advice! Luckily I can't say I am as suicidal as I was before meeting Him, but another thing regarding my mentality is coming back and I hate it. The only reason why I tried to change in the first place was to become a better person to him, but I don't see any reasons as to why I should persevere when He's gone. Ofc there is the possibility to see him in the future, but I swear I'll try my best again when He's around me.
He's the only one who ever helped me this much
And I'm sorry for rambling lol