Help I think I'm traumatized

[cookiencream]

I've attempted hanging twice and was planning to do it again. But just the thought makes me feel all weird and scared. I can just feel it in my bones that if I try again I still won't be able to do it. Just holding the rope makes me feel sick. Is there anyway for me to get over this? I was planning on brute forcing myself into doing it but that made the mental block stronger. Should I try a different method? I wish I had access to more peaceful methods such as sn or another way to overdose

 

[moonlightbeach]

i think you need to give it time. were the attempts recent? it took me a few months just to get comfortable to think about the same method that i attempted with before. before that i couldn't even have a single thought array about it.

 

[cookiencream]

15 days between the first two attempts. If I go through with the next attempt it would be 13 days between my last attempt and that attempt

 

[developic]

I've attempted hanging twice and was planning to do it again. But just the thought makes me feel all weird and scared. I can just feel it in my bones that if I try again I still won't be able to do it. Just holding the rope makes me feel sick. Is there anyway for me to get over this? I was planning on brute forcing myself into doing it but that made the mental block stronger. Should I try a different method? I wish I had access to more peaceful methods such as sn or another way to overdose

Those walls have seen my pain, their silence a reminder of the tears I've cried for a love that's lost, leaving my heart broken and my soul weary, yet in their stillness, I find some comfort.

I've attempted hanging twice and was planning to do it again. But just the thought makes me feel all weird and scared. I can just feel it in my bones that if I try again I still won't be able to do it. Just holding the rope makes me feel sick. Is there anyway for me to get over this? I was planning on brute forcing myself into doing it but that made the mental block stronger. Should I try a different method? I wish I had access to more peaceful methods such as sn or another way to overdose

Your heart is not ready maybe I think you Desire to live in your heart

 

[moonlightbeach]

15 days between the first two attempts. If I go through with the next attempt it would be 13 days between my last attempt and that attempt

personally that's not enough time. you're probably still scarred that it won't go like you planned. maybe give yourself an honest month break? see how you feel afterwards.

 

[cookiencream]

Those walls have seen my pain, their silence a reminder of the tears I've cried for a love that's lost, leaving my heart broken and my soul weary, yet in their stillness, I find some comfort.

Your heart is not ready maybe I think you Desire to live in your heart

I wish I did, it's nothing more than fear tho

personally that's not enough time. you're probably still scarred that it won't go like you planned. maybe give yourself an honest month break? see how you feel afterwards.

Idk why but I want to die as soon as possible so I just can't give myself a break
I think if I practice for a while I should be okay?
I think if I practice for a while I should be okay?
I think if I practice for a while I should be okay?
I think if I practice for a while I should be okay?

 

[developic]

I wish I did, it's nothing more than fear tho

Idk why but I want to die as soon as possible so I just can't give myself a break
I think if I practice for a while I should be okay?
I think if I practice for a while I should be okay?
I think if I practice for a while I should be okay?
I think if I practice for a while I should be okay?

Waiting how did you practice suicide really i am curious

 

[cookiencream]

Waiting how did you practice suicide really i am curious

Tying the rope to the anchor and then tying it around your neck
Stepping off but not completely

 

[developic]

Tying the rope to the anchor and then tying it around your neck
Stepping off but not completely

I didn't think so it's a best way to practice
Really it's will increase your anxiety

 

[cookiencream]

I wish my body wouldn't trap me here. I don't want to be here. Why won't my body listen to me

 

[Tord]

Suicide attempts and self harm definitely can traumatize oneself (the person who did it).

You have a strong survival instinct, it's important that you just give it time now even if it hurts you to wait. It's in my opinion the best remedy against SI, if you're not ready and rush it it'll come out that way, too.

May you find peace either way you end up going.

 

[monetpompo]

You have a strong survival instinct, it's important that you just give it time now even if it hurts you to wait. It's in my opinion the best remedy against SI, if you're not ready and rush it it'll come out that way, too.

i agree. my past few days have been rough and i'm contemplating another attempt when i usually stop myself before putting my head in the noose because i always just stop and go right back home because i want to receive texts from people that care about me. the only way i can really stop doing that is by turning off my phone and coming to terms with the fact i can't seek comfort from people anymore once i go through with my next attempt. i pretty much always think about suicide and then i still come back here because i find myself unable to cope with dying

 

[cookiencream]

Suicide attempts and self harm definitely can traumatize oneself (the person who did it).

You have a strong survival instinct, it's important that you just give it time now even if it hurts you to wait. It's in my opinion the best remedy against SI, if you're not ready and rush it it'll come out that way, too.

May you find peace either way you end up going.

Rushing can trigger SI more? Sigh. Ig I'll have to wait. At least I always have the materials I need on hand. I'll see if I'm ready next week