Help I think i'm gonna do it tonight

[sulk]

I know attempting to ctb out of panic is such a bad idea but I can't help it. Something bad happened to me and the only thing i want to do is ctb. The belt i'm using for partial is too short for me but i'm putting it on a doorknob and hopefully i'll be able to lean forward and then find eternal peace. I can't think of any other ligature to use other than that so I guess i'm gonna use it. I'm scared it'll snap or something but i don't think it's likely. I'm just so done i'm over it. I just want someone to kill me if this doesn't work. Living feels like hell.

 

[getoutgirl]

Hey, I'm sorry for whatever has happened to you that led you to this. Belt is not great... and doing it out of impulse is indeed not great either. I do get how desperate it can get some times so I know how that is and how awful you must be feeling to want an out now.
If you end up attempting, I can only wish you peace and for the experience to not be stressing. Also remember you can walk back any time, the urge will also dwindle in a bit of time, if you manage to push through it, talk to people, vent here if so, do whatever you think might help with that, even if it's probably pretty hard to do at the moment.
Again, regardless of what you do, I'm sorry you've been brought to this moment. Try to relax if you can, think clearly, any less you can suffer now I think it'd be worth it, preferably not dying out of impulse but... yeah. Just breathe, if you can, I hope you do. Big hugs to you<3

 

[hmnow]

I hope you find clarity and peace in your future

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

If its very unsafe than please wait until Monday when the shops are open and buy a strong stable rope.
I can understand your wish to finally find peace but just imagine u succeed at the beginning and get unconscious but then after 5 minutes belt gets teared. Then you'll end as a person who will be handicapped for life and then u really might be prisoned in this world until you'll be an old person for probably many decades. Please think about it.

 

[nemesis_]

I know attempting to ctb out of panic is such a bad idea but I can't help it. Something bad happened to me and the only thing i want to do is ctb. The belt i'm using for partial is too short for me but i'm putting it on a doorknob and hopefully i'll be able to lean forward and then find eternal peace. I can't think of any other ligature to use other than that so I guess i'm gonna use it. I'm scared it'll snap or something but i don't think it's likely. I'm just so done i'm over it. I just want someone to kill me if this doesn't work. Living feels like hell.

something similar happened to me; i got triggered and have an overwhelming urge to end it tonight. but as someone mentioned under my thread, partial has a low success rate :/ so maybe we should hold on a little longer. i don't want either of us ending up worse off.

 

[sulk]

something similar happened to me; i got triggered and have an overwhelming urge to end it tonight. but as someone mentioned under my thread, partial has a low success rate :/ so maybe we should hold on a little longer. i don't want either of us ending up worse off.

It sucks because I don't even know how i'm going to hold on a little longer and cope with living. I just feel so stuck. It never gets better doesn't it? But yes i don't want the both of us to deal with the consequences of our impulses : ( as tempting as it is

 

[nemesis_]

It sucks because I don't even know how i'm going to hold on a little longer and cope with living. I just feel so stuck. It never gets better doesn't it? But yes i don't want the both of us to deal with the consequences of our impulses : ( as tempting as it is

same :( i feel trapped in a cycle of suffering. i've been waiting for that one good day for almost 9 years now. but i'd rather keep suffering the way i am now than as a vegetable with absolutely no way out of my situation. but you're right, it's so tempting…

 

[woofwag]

I have regretted it every time I have attempted impulsively. Please please save yourself the added trauma of a failed attempt and wait until you can get a more reliable method. And hey, sometimes by the time you've got enough mental clarity to get the stuff, you find out a way to cope with what happened without suicide. I really hope that no matter what path you take, you can find some peace and not have to go out in pain

 

[sulk]

I know attempting to ctb out of panic is such a bad idea but I can't help it. Something bad happened to me and the only thing i want to do is ctb. The belt i'm using for partial is too short for me but i'm putting it on a doorknob and hopefully i'll be able to lean forward and then find eternal peace. I can't think of any other ligature to use other than that so I guess i'm gonna use it. I'm scared it'll snap or something but i don't think it's likely. I'm just so done i'm over it. I just want someone to kill me if this doesn't work. Living feels like hell.

update: i've ordered myself a rope and will hopefully get the courage to do it soon. thank you guys

 

[Off_Switch]

The best night for me to do it is any night that I can muster up the will power. I feel like CTB will always be an impulsive act. There is no planning. There's just having the means ready and spring loaded for when the time comes.

 

[sulk]

The best night for me to do it is any night that I can muster up the will power. I feel like CTB will always be an impulsive act. There is no planning. There's just having the means ready and spring loaded for when the time comes.

Right, I understand that. I feel like if it's planned then you're just giving yourself more reasons to give out

 

[hmnow]

I have made the decision ahead of time, that I intend to kill myself. And I give permission to the impulses that will emerge to carry me away.

What I have done is created a kit, a rope and a pull-up bar. I always have it If I am at hotel related to work and I get the impulse I just do it, I'd love to think I could be dead less than an hour later.

But if I plan it, set a date SI will just take over and I won't be able to pull it off

But the key is I have given the impulses to take me when the time comes