Letting go and letting insanity set in can be very liberating... You let go of labels, of expectations, of future, of past, and of reality itself. You realize that everything is fake, even your pain at this very moment (unless physically affected with some incurable disease)... You are left free to create and live. Trust in your insanity, it is you after all... You are fighting with yourself...
I send you a big hug <3 Hang in there bud...