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fkyou

fkyou

...
Oct 1, 2022
254
I think I will try partial hanging tomorrow. I know I've missed few chances to do it when they aren't here.i lost the only window of time I had before.but I cannot wait not knowing when the next free chance will come.the problems is even if it comes I will probably not do it because I need to prepare for it mentally before hand . I may do it or may stick to waiting for another week or two God knows how many days.
My days now are emotionally very painful (unlike before) everyday is devoid of feelings of joy,only horrible self esteem related thaughts nibbling on my brain.the only day that feels joyful is the day I know im going tomorrow (or tonight but can't at that time although it's my favorite). Apart from that,everyday is a black and white day.so if before I felt like I have to ctb but didn't want to because I was still happy and could feel joy ,today can't even say that .
 
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