Venting I think I gotta do it soon

[BBY]

It just feels completely meaningless to continue living. Like, if I just continue on everything will get worse. One of the only people I speak to consistently stopped replying or texting me themselve. If I do get a reply it's one or two days later. And honestly, I feel like if I continue living I'll progressively get more lonely. I don't want to stick around and watch that happen. Maybe I'll just hang myself like grandpa did. I don't know what that'll do with my family, considering how much they mourned after his death. But I just feel like I can't continue. Also, a fear of mine is that a family member will find my body. It fucked my uncle up pretty bad and I don't want to do that to my brothers or father. But the attic is still my best bet, even if my brother goes there often. I just don't know what to so anymore. I started cutting again, the sense of impending doom is back and everything is falling apart. Working isn't even fun anymore, I just find myself hating everyone. I just want it all to end.

 

[pinstripe]

That's such a valid feeling. The endless struggle. I've told myself over and over that it's time. Just hard to catch the bus