Venting I think I finally understand people who don't want to be cured...

[whybother2002]

There's plenty of people here who say they don't want to be cured or saved, that they would rather die anyway. I've never could comprehend that — I'd like to be free of all pain.

Now I get it, I just can't even begin to imagine a reality where I'm happy. I think I'm way past the point of getting better again. There's no point in daydreaming that I will ever be well.

Fuck this life :-(

 

[ungodly]

i'm not gonna act like i know what's going on in ur life but know that i (and likely many others here as well) get it. i think it's probably some type of survival (lmao) mechanism to cling to some sort of escape like that, whether it be recovery or ctb.

i never thought i could either, or atleast about 50ish percent of the time i couldn't. as time goes on ive slowly come to the realization that i flip-flop between both states of mind and have been since i've been able to comprehend ctb. as i understand it, both sides come from a place of desperation and just looking for a way out and i think thats completely reasonable.

im so sorry you're here man (both on sasu and in this headspace), i know its a lot. i'm not gonna shove some pro life "IT GETS BETTER!! PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU!!" bs down ur throat because thats incredibly ignorant and i have no way of knowing that, but know that ur seen and understood. ur in my thoughts bro and i hope you find peace someday

 

[gunmetalblue]

What annoys me the most about people trying to convince you to stay, and try again, or the like said above usual 'it gets better', is that it isn't their call. It's my life, I should be allowed to leave how I want, when I want, especially if I'm clear minded and reflected on the decision.
It should be human right. The fight for human birth is a ferociously protected and fought battle, because yes it's babies (I'm not going into this debate, differentiate a featus from a baby at whatever age you like), they can't protect themselves. But as a fully grown adult, dropped in this society with independence in every manner. And absolutely expected to to everything on your own even when suffering. Society stands up with feigned responsibility and gatekeeps the wish to take the bus early because it makes you suddenly uncomfortable? Eh.

 

[kopebaldy]

I am fundamentally broken, the world and me aren't compatible.

The "cure" is to completely replace me as a person. If "I" have to die either way, might as well go out on my own terms.

 

[martyrdom]

I'm very sorry life has brought you to this point. If you want to have hope again, I wish you hope. If not, I wish you peace.

For me, it's a little different. I don't want to be helped or saved because I actively reject living with something that has happened to me - I don't want to live when this has happened, even if a happy, normal life were possible (it is not). It's like a "dealbreaker" for life.

 

[rainatthebusstop]

I feel like a lot of self advocacy for people with permanent mental health problems waters it down so much. My condition isn't "fun" or "quirky" or whatever, it's making me unable to survive on my own. I'm not "neurospicy", I can't actively survive in society.

I would give a lot to be cured, to be normal. It won't give me the years back this fucking horror show has taken from me, but maybe it would give me enough hope to not wish for someone to execute me every day.