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fearandlov3

Member
May 14, 2024
10
Over the last year or so I've gotten very close with my friend, we'll call her "A" for the sake of the story. We've been calling almost every night like two teenage best friends and me being me, I get over attached and today she tells me she needs more "me time" which I 100% get I just feel horrible I burnt her out so horribly that it's affecting her like this. I know it sounds like I'm being selfish but the point isn't that I want to talk rn, it's that I already hurt her this much by talking. I've hurt A emotionally before, and she's hurt me too. But Ive also genuinely triggered her and my friend uhm. Let's call him "E". I've triggered E with me being my stupid clingy weird self. I know this all sounds childish but I genuinely hate myself.

I wish I just had someone in my life that would want to be as clingy as I am with me. I thought I would've grown out of it by now but here we are years later with my life and I'm still..me

I have this weird thing for myself where someone can hurt me 100x worse but if I slightly hurt anyone srsly I legit think I should "repent for my sins" and shit like that. (Aka cut myself)

So yeah I hope you liked my bullshit rant!

I don't really want comfort nor anyone calling me out for any reasons because I know what to think about myself already, thank you everyone.
 
Gangrel

Gangrel

Mage
Jul 25, 2024
505
Maybe it's not affecting her that hard, sometimes people just wanna be alone and it's not that deep. Clearly i dont know anything about you or your friend but i say this because i have BPD and it's so hard to control the self destructives patterns i have when i get the litttle hint of a simple "rejection" like that.
 
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