Been the case all my life, I never get what I want, I don't know how to get what I want and I never figured out how to get what I want. Other people around me were able to but not me. I don't know what it was, too fussy too easy going too open too much of a pushover not hard enough not ambivalent enough I cared too much I was too nice this or that didn't push when I should have, either way I am the fuck up fuck ups and will die as the fuck up of fuck ups, it will impact my parents who love me very much but my life can never work for me, maybe I sound like a spoiled brat but I'm ready to die and have depleted or spoiled or wasted or screwed everything up, I cannot correct my life into something worth living for I have ended up in life with the rejects and the screw ups and got everything completely wrong, I can't wait to be released from this rubbish life and die
