I need to process.

[kcon1243]

Partner of 2 years revealed they had fallen for romance scammers from 2022 to 2023. Online child professionals with ai generated images who live in developing countries..

Long story, she send them enough money by a luxury house in usa. When she told me about the cheating, I wasn't hurt but when she revealed the money, I told her I couldn't be with her if she still communicated with them.

Repeatedly asked if she was talking regularly in 2024 and 2025. She always denied and said I was being insane, controlling, paranoid, being entitled, not respecting here her privacy, not trusting, trying to sabotage us and be spiteful.

Anyway, she just revealed she only cut contact for a few months, taking for a year and sending them money and having virtual sex in MY HOUSE with predators. She won't tell friends or family. I'm at a loss. She is already looking at plane tickets to tunisia. Said she could marry them.

Keep in mind we were in a relationship the entire time and I clearly expressed scammers so I can make an informed decision without about my continuation of my future and our love.

This all seems to insane to type out and have this actually be real life. I'm getting out my ropes again. Anchored to beam. Contemplating my options.

To clarify, these feelings aren't partner related... although it does reel like the trigger so

 

[StupidCat]

I would probably dump them

 

[noname223]

Partner of 2 years revealed they had fallen for romance scammers from 2022 to 2023. Online child professionals with ai generated images who live in developing countries..

Long story, she send them enough money by a luxury house in usa. When she told me about the cheating, I wasn't hurt but when she revealed the money, I told her I couldn't be with her if she still communicated with them.

Repeatedly asked if she was talking regularly in 2024 and 2025. She always denied and said I was being insane, controlling, paranoid, being entitled, not respecting here her privacy, not trusting, trying to sabotage us and be spiteful.

Anyway, she just revealed she only cut contact for a few months, taking for a year and sending them money and having virtual sex in MY HOUSE with predators. She won't tell friends or family. I'm at a loss. She is already looking at plane tickets to tunisia. Said she could marry them.

Keep in mind we were in a relationship the entire time and I clearly expressed scammers so I can make an informed decision without about my continuation of my future and our love.

This all seems to insane to type out and have this actually be real life. I'm getting out my ropes again. Anchored to beam. Contemplating my options.

To clarify, these feelings aren't partner related... although it does reel like the trigger so

Holy shit this is insane I feel very sorry for you. I don't have good advice but I want to bump this thread so that other people get the chance to help you.

Sending hugs and love :)

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

This is so incredibly stupid of your partner. The chances of her being on a REALLY bad situation is like 95%. And the fact she did it all under your nose, while you're in a relationship with her, makes it all the more painful to you.

Honestly, let her go find her scammers on Tunisia, I'm sure she'll have a grand time with them, one way or another. As for you...oh, dear, darling...reading this makes me feel moritfied. You don't deserve this pain, you don't deserve this suffering. I can't do much but hug you virtually. Come hug mama bear, my honey pot... *hugs and kisses*

You never deserved this pain, And I wish I could wash it away. If you need someone to talk to, mama bear is always with an open ear and an open heart.

 

[kcon1243]

Hey, I hope everyone could read my post with all the typos. I meant partner of 20 years, two decades. Went no contact as of Friday. Also trashed their shit but kept 25 years worth of their journals and reading all the shit slowly to process the actual reality of the situation, as the last few years have been nothing but lies...

I tried to edit my original post but it's not letting me edit, modify or even delete so the typos will remain.

 

[bankai]

Wtf did i just read
OP, I don't think I'm qualified to give any advice here. This is just absurd. There are just so many problems here. So many red flags waving. I think you slowly need to back out and separate from this person.

 

[Exiled]

I am so sorry to hear this happened. How utterly devastating. I'm sorry you've seen such cruel days and I hope that you are able to completely stay removed from her. I am proud of you for going straight up no-contact. That isn't an easy decision to make. We are here for you as you continue to process this, and if anything comes up in her journals that you want to talk about. You are not alone.

 

[idontwanttosuffer]

Seperate and ask back for your hard earned money.

 

[kcon1243]

Seperate and ask back for your hard earned money.

Not my money, her inheritance.

Wtf did i just read
OP, I don't think I'm qualified to give any advice here. This is just absurd. There are just so many problems here. So many red flags waving. I think you slowly need to back out and separate from this person.

Yeah. Been no contact for a week officially. She keeps on casually reaching out via email acting all normal, as is her cycle. I changed my phone number. Committed to not engaging

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Not my money, her inheritance.

While that makes it less aggravating, it becomes infinitely more stupid for her! Inheritance? If I had inheritance, I would focus on making my life better and maybe even becoming strong enough to help other people. Her? Ah just dropping on some foreign Tunisian princes' bank accounts that promised me everything I could buy with said money.

The fact that you can see how stupid this is, is evidence that you are a hundred times more aware than OP's ex. I'm so glad it's not your money, kcon...

 

[alwaysalone]

Not my money, her inheritance.

Yeah. Been no contact for a week officially. She keeps on casually reaching out via email acting all normal, as is her cycle. I changed my phone number. Committed to not engaging

So sorry I don't want to be cold but thank God it wasn't your money.

 

[kcon1243]

So sorry I don't want to be cold but thank God it wasn't your money.

Yeah, that's true... just depressing that her grandparents busted their ass and gave her this huge nest egg for education and retirement and to build her life and she just wires it all away to different continents to shits she's never met who are clearly lying thru their teeth.

Like she sent one dude 90 years worth of minimum wage full time salary in his country and the other dude got the equivalent of 45 years worth of salary in his country. Countries we have both been to, where my ex knows the cost of living.

I know it's not my problem anymore but it's sad to see someone you've lived with for 2 decades go down this tragic path and be so deluded. And knowing there's nothing you can do to help them reign in their delusions or burst the fantasy.

Since 2023, I spent so much time breaking down the expenses- showing the actual cost of what she thought she was helping these people with versus what she actually gave them. Made zero difference.

The scammers have brainwashed her and love bombed the fuck outta her and she understands to an extent that they lied but she believes they have their reasons and that the falsehoods told at her expense for their personal gain are justified and that it's love.... love that's more powerful than the 2 decades of mine that she's willing to toss in the damn garbage.

People are trash. Life is trash. Existence is trash. Literally no fucking point carrying on when people like this make up the damn planet we're supposed to call home.

 

[alwaysalone]

It sounds like she's deluded herself into some kind of fantasy. Given the time frame of your relationship I'm going to hazard a guess you're both mid 40s or so. Women can have mid life crises too. That may be what it is. I only say this to emphasize that it's not you. This isn't "normal" behavior for a woman even IF you were a horrible partner. (I'm not in any way saying you are) anyway you look at it it's a horrible heartbreaking situation.

 

[kcon1243]

It sounds like she's deluded herself into some kind of fantasy. Given the time frame of your relationship I'm going to hazard a guess you're both mid 40s or so. Women can have mid life crises too. That may be what it is. I only say this to emphasize that it's not you. This isn't "normal" behavior for a woman even IF you were a horrible partner. (I'm not in any way saying you are) anyway you look at it it's a horrible heartbreaking situation.

Yeah, I mean I'm not perfect but sending mad money to a child you've never met in the name of love is only shooting yourself in the foot at the end of the day and, sure, it hurts and angers me but I can handle my grief and move on... here idea of moving on is trying to marry some underage cat fish? Idk. It's just all too wacked for me to process. And I can't find anyone whose been through anything remotely similar.

Maybe I suck but she could have just left, ya know? But at the end of the day, I don't think it's even about me. I've been reading her journals and the issues run deep. Clearly a her issue, getting some sort of warped validation out of the dynamic and seemingly getting off on the control and power play. And maybe appreciating the masochism of it all and trying to self destruct?

Idfk. I guess it doesn't matter. I care, I love, but I can't do shit when someone's way off processing is entirely outta this world. Just hurt that she keeps on trying to engage via email and sending me her calendar info via email. Like I made very clear thousands of times that I couldn't be with her if she wanted toxic people and criminals in her life. Maybe if she'd left decently and honestly, there could have been hope for the future but at this point she torched that...

And keeps on coming back messaging all normal and like everything is fine and dandy and it's just making me feel even more insane than baseline.

 

[alwaysalone]

Yeah, I mean I'm not perfect but sending mad money to a child you've never met in the name of love is only shooting yourself in the foot at the end of the day and, sure, it hurts and angers me but I can handle my grief and move on... here idea of moving on is trying to marry some underage cat fish? Idk. It's just all too wacked for me to process. And I can't find anyone whose been through anything remotely similar.

Maybe I suck but she could have just left, ya know? But at the end of the day, I don't think it's even about me. I've been reading her journals and the issues run deep. Clearly a her issue, getting some sort of warped validation out of the dynamic and seemingly getting off on the control and power play. And maybe appreciating the masochism of it all and trying to self destruct?

Idfk. I guess it doesn't matter. I care, I love, but I can't do shit when someone's way off processing is entirely outta this world. Just hurt that she keeps on trying to engage via email and sending me her calendar info via email. Like I made very clear thousands of times that I couldn't be with her if she wanted toxic people and criminals in her life. Maybe if she'd left decently and honestly, there could have been hope for the future but at this point she torched that...

And keeps on coming back messaging all normal and like everything is fine and dandy and it's just making me feel even more insane than baseline.

She may be trying to make you jealous? Consider blocking for your own sake. I hope you can find peace and grace for yourself.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

She may be trying to make you jealous? Consider blocking for your own sake. I hope you can find peace and grace for yourself.

Jealous? Of what? I don't think anyone would be jealous over her being an absolute ass, and an idiot for falling on a scam believing it to be true, and spending all her inheritance money on a lie. If anything, I would be thankful they were finally out of my life. I was scammed over love once, and I know the feeling after you discover the scammer is terrible, and you can enter denial, but after recovering from it, I can say, THANK SATAN I SAW THE LIGHT. Trust me, she will do only damage to whoeve touches her, you are 100% better without her.

 

[alwaysalone]

Jealous? Of what? I don't think anyone would be jealous over her being an absolute ass, and an idiot for falling on a scam believing it to be true, and spending all her inheritance money on a lie. If anything, I would be thankful they were finally out of my life. I was scammed over love once, and I know the feeling after you discover the scammer is terrible, and you can enter denial, but after recovering from it, I can say, THANK SATAN I SAW THE LIGHT. Trust me, she will do only damage to whoeve touches her, you are 100% better without her.

Well she's obviously not following logic or she wouldn't be doing what she's doing. Her sending emails and trying to act as if everything is good could well be trying to incite jealousy and or trying to rub salt in the wound.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Well she's obviously not following logic or she wouldn't be doing what she's doing. Her sending emails and trying to act as if everything is good could well be trying to incite jealousy and or trying to rub salt in the wound.

Yeah, she's trying, alright. I hope OP is seeing what is happening and doesn't fall for it because, really, OP has the journals detailing how fake was their relationship (At least from what I've read in the thread.) and how she manipulated OP into thinking the opposite. Deceit only works if the lie is upheld. When the jig is up, it's easy to see how we were played, and thus, we will see it coming next time the liars try again.

I know emotions can make us act up sometimes, but I hope @kcon1243 can look at this rationally, now that it is very clear what was happening.