Venting I might hurt myself tonight.

[Username:Required]

I'm stuck in a cycle of bad habits.
I'm an adult that's still in high school, but oversleep and miss it a lot. I miss my medical appointments. I'm late to work sometimes, and I stay overtime. I'm gaining weight because I don't have time to cook, or don't find time.
I live with a person who has traumatized me and probably would do it again. I don't even know if my job is stable. I feel like I'm going to be missing my goals by a long shot.
I'm ruining myself.

I might fucking end it tonight.

 

[whywere]

I am older than most on here and I mention this ONLY because through the decades, like most everyone, I have had my up's downs and everything in between.

Missed medical and mental health appointments, yep!

Had a now ex, who tried to gamble everything, and I mean everything away, she did not succeed, thank heavens!

But there also have been some really good times and events also. I wish with everything that GOD gave me that this happens for you also and down the road, one never ever knows.

Case in point about job stability, I was laid off because of Covid and 18 months later, the same firm that laid me off called me back.

We all have some bad habits, that is a part of life. No one ever could ever tell me that they do not. At 69, I have never met anyone who does not have at least a few, so what?! The good always outweighs and outlasts the bad, always.

You are an intelligent, kind and thoughtful spirit, I picked up on that right away when I started reading your thread.

You are too hard on yourself, take a deep breath, a step back and just sees how amazing of a soul you are. Caring? YEP! Kind? YEP! You have qualities that are wonderful, and it just takes a little time to develop, I did not get my adult groove together till I was 28, then I took off and have done very well and so will you.

I believe in you and your future, really do, as you are like a wonderful, lovely spring flower just waiting to blossom, that is you.

Walter

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I'm stuck in a cycle of bad habits.
I'm an adult that's still in high school, but oversleep and miss it a lot. I miss my medical appointments. I'm late to work sometimes, and I stay overtime. I'm gaining weight because I don't have time to cook, or don't find time.
I live with a person who has traumatized me and probably would do it again. I don't even know if my job is stable. I feel like I'm going to be missing my goals by a long shot.
I'm ruining myself.

I might fucking end it tonight.

Sounds like life with a chronic illness.