Venting I lost all willpower

[Hadnafoflife]

I used to be really disciplined but after last crisis i lost it all, I have no ambition or a reason to see another day, What happened to me happened without a prior warning and that's how i fell, I was happy and very ambitious before the fall now i have semi-energy to leave the house, The reason i don't end it is becouse of the religion i believe in (judaism) but god doesn't care about me anyways he doesn't help me