Story I live for my dead boyfriend

[BlueButterfly111]

I think I live for my dead boyfriend, I know it sounds weird. I always think about him while I'm at work, like it motivates me, as if I gonna come home to him, I always think about what he would've been doing, how his day has been. Like he's my only family, even though he's dead. I see spiritual signs, like angel numbers, and I think it's him sending me signs from heaven, telling me he loves me and he's thinking of me, and he's still with me. I never saw signs like angel numbers and things like that, until I was with him, until he passed away. I know it sounds delusional, but I just can't let him go, I'm always thinking about him, I don't think I'll ever stop missing him, I keep thinking that one of these days he will send me something or someone to actually live for, but until then I'll just keep thinking of him.

 

[Kamaainakupua]

I think I live for my dead boyfriend, I know it sounds weird. I always think about him while I'm at work, like it motivates me, as if I gonna come home to him, I always think about what he would've been doing, how his day has been. Like he's my only family, even though he's dead. I see spiritual signs, like angel numbers, and I think it's him sending me signs from heaven, telling me he loves me and he's thinking of me, and he's still with me.

I never saw signs like angel numbers and things like that, until I was with him, until he passed away. I know it sounds delusional, but I just can't let him go, I'm always thinking about him, I don't think I'll ever stop missing him, I keep thinking that one of these days he will send me something or someone to actually live for, but until then I'll just keep thinking of him.

As long as it doesn't impair your ability to do what you need to do, it sounds like you're processing this part of grief in a way that lessens the impact of the loss.

I still sing to my mom, now gone for three years, because it helps dull the jagged edges of old memories that cut too deeply.

As for what sounds delusional, I've been having to adjust my definition of that a lot, lately, with things going on in the world around me, and the calm and unconcerned lack of response to what seems to me unbelievable.

Thanks for sharing about this, and I hope you find (or keep) peace in your heart.

 

[singingcrow]

i think what you said is quite romantic tbh it doesn't sound weird at all!
it sounds like you really loved him i don't think you're delusional

it just sounds like grief and missing someone deeply. i believe that in some way the people we love can still look out for us. i hope he brings something good into your life when you're ready
and honestly when i die, i'd want to do the same for the people i care about
like send them someone really good for them who will take care of them

 

[etherealgoddess]

I think I live for my dead boyfriend, I know it sounds weird. I always think about him while I'm at work, like it motivates me, as if I gonna come home to him, I always think about what he would've been doing, how his day has been. Like he's my only family, even though he's dead. I see spiritual signs, like angel numbers, and I think it's him sending me signs from heaven, telling me he loves me and he's thinking of me, and he's still with me. I never saw signs like angel numbers and things like that, until I was with him, until he passed away. I know it sounds delusional, but I just can't let him go, I'm always thinking about him, I don't think I'll ever stop missing him, I keep thinking that one of these days he will send me something or someone to actually live for, but until then I'll just keep thinking of him.

Just cried. I'm so sorry. Sending love

 

[SoLowHollow48]

My condolences. I'm so happy that someone here chooses to keep on living for those who have died.

I personally cannot be on the same boat and every time I think about coming home, it's to come home to my ex who off-ed herself and my dad who had died years ago.

Keep finding something to be happy about. Your boyfriend will very much appreciate it. I believe that anyone who loves you would never want to see you harmed. I'm sure that he'd like you to find peace and joy in life.