I keep rewriting the note I want to leave behind

[OldGod]

I feel like I can't get it right. It's too long. It's too short. It explains too much. It doesn't explain enough. I really don't know what my last words should be.

 

[enjoy]

relatable. i haven't written a note in ages, but when i did i never knew how to make it right.

 

[one4all]

I feel like I can't get it right. It's too long. It's too short. It explains too much. It doesn't explain enough. I really don't know what my last words should be.

So long and thanks for the fish.

 

[justfloating]

I get what you mean. im writing a few for different people because not everything is relevant for everyone. just think about what you want them to know. eg reasons for ctb, that you love them, that there was nothing they could do, not to worry, that you are in a better place etc.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

I've written lots of notes (with other random stuff) and I've lost them! :/ hopefully family just throws all my writing out but if they read it......oof

 

[flower]

I always thought I wouldn't leave a note, or a very short one. But it seems I actually have a conscience these days and I think if I started writing I could keep going for pages.

 

[CuddleHug]

I don't think it is possible to "get it right" unless you have nothing to say. No matter what you write, it will never be perfect. That doesn't mean you shouldn't put any effort into it, but keep it in mind in case you get too stuck. After all, no one will truly understand why you left anyway.

 

[flower]

I don't think it is possible to "get it right" unless you have nothing to say. No matter what you write, it will never be perfect. That doesn't mean you shouldn't put any effort into it, but keep it in mind in case you get too stuck. After all, no one will truly understand why you left anyway.

I agree, no matter how much explaining you do, people will always wonder what went wrong, what they could've done to help. All you can do is write truthfully.

 

[antler]

For what it's worth, most people don't even leave notes. It's like 15 percent I think from one study that bother. I'm always worried that it'll come off sounding all boo hoo woe is me. If I'm not willing to talk like that in life, why say it as my last statement ever?

 

[Shinbu]

I understand that feeling. I rewrote three times, and finally got it right. I said what I believed in, and said my goodbyes to people I care about. I explicitly stated that I did this, because I rejected reality for not meeting my expectations, and that I have practiced bodily autonomy by ending my life. I mentioned the right to die as well. I even said I wasn't influenced by others to end my life. I don't want anyone blaming someone for my death.

 

[Largeletters]

I feel like I can't get it right. It's too long. It's too short. It explains too much. It doesn't explain enough. I really don't know what my last words should be.

I understand you there, OldGod. I've written I don't know how many in my lifetime, but in the past few months I think I've written like 4 confirmed ones (actual suicide notes), and the rest are things like letters to specific people, goodbye videos, my will, etc.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I just wrote and wrote and wrote and went back and crossed out and wrote again. To me, I wanted people to see the struggle I had writing it and I wanted to shove a whole load in there so nobody would have any unanswered questions. It's ok to write it again and again, I get it, you want your last words to be exactly right. It doesn't matter how often you re-do it

 

[Anon2662]

I have done the same many times.. it's really hard to 'get it right' but then I suppose there is no right.. I think @BPD Barbie summed it up perfectly actually. It is okay to redo it as many times as you like :)

 

[Barbus]

I just threw mine away for the eighth time. I always think, "Should I really include that?" or "Maybe that's too harsh." I think next time I'm going to type a first draft on my computer, make sure it's passable, then write it down on paper.

 

[George81]

I've written a lot out over the last few years and saved them and when I've gone back and re-read them they sounded stupid so keep trying to write one out. I want to give a proper explanation as to why I CTB as I feel bad for leaving a lot of unanswered questions and I feel bad thinking of people wondering 'why?'. There's a lot of reasons why I want to CTB and I also worry about a long and drawn out inquest if I don't give clear enough reasons. I hope for a simple and quick inquest, done and dusted in one short hearing. Then I can be forgotten and people can get on with their lives. I've caused enough damage in my life and I don't want to cause anymore after I've gone

 

[OldGod]

Thank you for everyone's input on this.

Sorry I haven't responded, I've been going nuts lately with my own issues.