I JUST WENT SCORCHED EARTH ON MY MOM

[starboy2k]

had to mark out names, and her number. i didnt even say all I really wanted to say because as you see, she stopped reading when she didnt want to face the truth. i feel even more justified in committing suicide now knowing Ill never have to deal with her or anyone like her ever again.

its sucks knowing that how I feel or the things I experience dont mean shit because im not a financial provider. no money in your pocket = no valid feelings i guess

 

[starboy2k]

looking back at these texts, I feel so liberated, yet sick. Vindicated, yet useless. Like I finally said all of this……so what now? narcissistic parenting has really destroyed me.

 

[TBONTB]

Are you dependent on Mom? I noticed you have jobs, which made me wonder if you are financially independent. Obviously you would be better off if you could separate yourself more from her.

 

[starboy2k]

Are you dependent on Mom? I noticed you have jobs, which made me wonder if you are financially independent. Obviously you would be better off if you could separate yourself more from her.

i have been dependent (UNFORTUNATELY) on her for a while, all of those jobs I talked about were jobs from years ago. Ive been unemployed for over a year but didnt start financially needing her until like 4 months ago when I realized I couldn't find work….but now I dont want to need her at all financial or not. Its not worth it hence me telling her Im not living past the age of 30, and she gets her kicks off of co dependency.

Are you dependent on Mom? I noticed you have jobs, which made me wonder if you are financially independent. Obviously you would be better off if you could separate yourself more from her.

I didnt even talk about the times where she pushed me down a flight of stairs then made me apologize to her, or the time she pointed a loaded gun in my face to show off her new law enforcement position. But I guess to her shit like that heals through "time" (sorry for trauma dumping)

 

[TBONTB]

i have been dependent (UNFORTUNATELY) on her for a while, all of those jobs I talked about were jobs from years ago. Ive been unemployed for over a year but didnt start financially needing her until like 4 months ago when I realized I couldn't find work….but now I dont want to need her at all financial or not. Its not worth it hence me telling her Im not living past the age of 30, and she gets her kicks off of co dependency.

I didnt even talk about the times where she pushed me down a flight of stairs then made me apologize to her, or the time she pointed a loaded gun in my face to show off her new law enforcement position. But I guess to her shit like that heals through "time" (sorry for trauma dumping)

Oh honey, that's horrific.

 

[bipolar22]

looking back at these texts, I feel so liberated, yet sick. Vindicated, yet useless. Like I finally said all of this……so what now? narcissistic parenting has really destroyed me.

The good thing is the thoughts that were eating you up inside had an outlet. Voicing them must have taken alot of courage and hopefully reduced some of that burden carrying them with you in silence.
Sad truth with narc parents is your words of hurt falling on deaf ears and won't effect her. She won't reflect on it or ever have insight on her destructive behavior.
Just keeping the relationship shallow and accepting her material support is the best strategy for these type of people which as you stated already did. Its very sad and hardbreaking. But its also important to know theres nothing you can say or do that will make them "wake up and change". My mother is a covert narcissist snd I just used her financial support until she went too manipulative snd I had to cut her out completely. My heart goes out to you . Now she probably won't leave you becuse she sees u as narcissistic supply. So you gonna hsve to mske the choice if the relationship can go on or if its too destructive for you.

 

[starboy2k]

The good thing is the thoughts that were eating you up inside had an outlet. Voicing them must have taken alot of courage and hopefully reduced some of that burden carrying them with you in silence.
Sad truth with narc parents is your words of hurt falling on deaf ears and won't effect her. She won't reflect on it or ever have insight on her destructive behavior.
Just keeping the relationship shallow and accepting her material support is the best strategy for these type of people which as you stated already did. Its very sad and hardbreaking. But its also important to know theres nothing you can say or do that will make them "wake up and change". My mother is a covert narcissist snd I just used her financial support until she went too manipulative snd I had to cut her out completely. My heart goes out to you . Now she probably won't leave you becuse she sees u as narcissistic supply. So you gonna hsve to mske the choice if the relationship can go on or if its too destructive for you.

yea i dont really see the point in not only fixing myself, but also going to her for anything. I remember saying in someone else's post that its unreasonable to looking for help maintaining a life I dont want to live because eventually the "unconditional" help you receive will always come with a price you can't pay and it will become grounds for abandonment the moment patience for you wears out thin or if you dare defy whoever's helping you ONCE. Narc parent's only motives are control and patronization PERIOD. I already made the decision that I will kill myself to rid me of bullshit like this so I could care less about her now or in the future. What I do wonder is how her last years are going to look like, given how she treated her own mother like shit until she passed. Everyone will eventually need a caregiver. Oh well….fuck her. Thanks for the encouraging words tho and Im sorry you had to deal with this shit from your mother as well <3