Venting I just wanna vent a little about how I just found out what I've experienced after my attempt was temporary disability (dystonia/dystonic reaction)

[Misanthrope0000]

My overdose attempt experience

I just found out how much of a risk I put myself into despite not taking too many pills (only 11), but risperidone had side effect of dystonic reaction when you take too much which caused most of the suffering of that day.

My neck was clenched and felt like I was about to snap my own neck, I couldn't even speak or pronounce words correctly, and my neck was hurting so badly not to mention the temporary respiratory depression that I had at the same time and my breathing sounded like rattles, I couldn't breathe correctly too, it was as if something is blocking my breath, I still remember the horror that my mother felt while taking care of me, my hand was also twitching abnormally but it wasn't too much and not painful, but thinking of that experience it was terrifying, me personally I think of my attempt as "not serious" or "not real" because I feel like invalid for only taking 11 pills, but my experience makes me feel that maybe my attempt was "valid", I don't know. I just feel thankful that I threw up the pills after two hours even though it was probably too late, My biggest fear is ending up with a disability, and experiencing temporary disability was so terrifying.

If anyone reading this post considering to overdose on antipsychotics, especially risperidone, please don't, just don't, the suffering isn't worth it

I had a full recovery thankfully with no permanent effects, and I haven't experienced dystonia/dystonic reaction since then, it was one time thing

 

[derekWest]

I read the French book "suicide, mode demploi", often, the lethal dose is reach for at least 200 pills (or more than 5g).

 

[Misanthrope0000]

I read the French book "suicide, mode demploi", often, the lethal dose is reach for at least 200 pills (or more than 5g)

200pills on risperidone?
Lol I was about to take 50 pills but my mom stopped me at the 11th pill, so I guess if I actually did take 50pills I would've suffered even more without dying

 

[derekWest]

The book maybe don't mention your med. It is often for antidepressant that might work.
..
But anyway, ctb using med only is quite unreliable

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you had to suffer like that, it's so cruel to me and horrific how there's all this extreme suffering in existing with no limit as to how much one can suffer. But anyway I wish you the best.