Story I have some hope in life

[Kimlett]

From my 20s to my 30s, I've had several depressive episodes. The last one was the longest. A few months ago I really wanted to ctb. But now I feel like I'm finally making it out of this dark period.

I'm in the path of becoming a dietitian, a completely different career path that the one I chose when I was 19 and I had no idea what I wanted to do, the field I'm working in nowadays. I think dietetics is a career path that I'll be able to like, even being a person who struggles to enjoy stuff. I've been fat most of my life but now I'm losing weight, and for the first time in a long time I feel like reaching a normal weight is possible. I feel embarrased studying dietetics as a fat person, but I'm sure I'm gonna make it. I've been binge free for almost 2 months now. I have some bad days in which I fear I'm not gonna make it, but I know I will eventually. And in the future I want to help people with binge eating, obesity and other eating disorders. Also I'll keep making my artistic projects and hopefully earn some money with it.

So, now I think I can build a life for myself that is worth it, instead of a life I want to run away from. If everything fails, if I hate working as a dietician, if I can't make a living with art either, I don't know, I'll volunteer in Rwanda or in some dark corner of the world lol. Or I'll live with my parents until they die and then I'll be homeless or something... I always have ctb as the last resort. But I am going to try so hard. I am going to do my best to build a life that is at least slightly better than being dead. I have hope and I believe in myself.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Zanmato]

I can see you're excited, have desire to get involved!
I wish you the best with this purpose!

 

[Electra]

Wish you the best and sending you hugs!

 

[Tumblewillow]

I'm sad you feel embarrassed, I think you're inspiring! Being overweight will give you insight that a lot of other dieticians wouldn't, I think the best people in any healthcare fields are ones that are actually able to understand from their own experience!

 

[foggyskies_]

I'm proud of you for being binge free, seriously! There's this idea I fall back on sometimes, that happiness is not easy, that sometimes as sick people we must fight and claw and cry for joy and comfort in our lives. But the ability to help others, the small moments of joy might make it worth it somehow. I believe in you, best of luck! There's always more to experience, and I hope you get to see as much of the world as possible before it's over ♡