In other words, how many of you plan to CTB for reasons to do w something negative in a relationship?? doesn't have to be super specific, just if it has to do with it.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 21,396
Me. But it's the lack of a relationship for me, although it's more like the fact that I'll likely never be able to have one and I've never had one before either.
Can't say it's the main reason, but it definitely had an impact. Everytime I accomplish something, I'm instantly taken a step backwards by myself, as that achievement no longer had the inteded purpose. Nothing bad with it, obviously things change with people on or off your life. Things are just... tasteless now.
Dot
Info abt typng styl on prfle.
- Sep 26, 2021
- 3,449
Slf psyche cld nt hndle romantc rlatnshps & thy wre wht triggrd slf in2 b-ing 'crzy'
SleepingBliss
I wanna Miku-mit suicide ❤️
- Jul 3, 2024
- 51
I found recently my partner cheating on me for months they were what was stopping me but I've wanted to for a long time but decided to hang on because future with them seemed bearable but now I have decided I made myself a promise ling ago that if I ever lost them for any reason I would end it and I will stick to that they know I know but we have not formally broken up but I will be doing this without their knowledge just go off into the woods next week and take my sn and let them figure the rest out
dinosavr
and if i’m turning blue, please, don’t save me 🌛
- Dec 14, 2023
- 695
It's definitely not my main reason but it definitely doesn't help. If I were in a relationship, maybe I'd have the feeling that I have someone to live for.
MyaMia
Member
- Aug 21, 2023
- 17
It's definitely one of my reasons - I feel as lonely in my marriage as I did when I was single. They just don't value me as a partner and it makes me feel worthless which only feeds my desire to ctb...
chronicdissosiation
sell your sands of time and invest in the knife
- Feb 17, 2024
- 61
not necessarily a romantic relationship but definitely a codependent one. i leave for weeks only to come running back to her and it feels like im unable to end the cycle. nothing else to do but ctb haha
schmerz
if i don't survive, i'll still be by your side
- Jul 7, 2024
- 26
definitely one of the main reasons ; i was incredibly happy in a relationship but i ruined it on impulse. i ruined my chances with the only person that could ever completely love and accept me
lita-lassi
let me spell it out for you: go to hell
- Sep 25, 2023
- 587
i almost did previously and given how a bunch of shit turned out i still sometimes wish i had. the day is still young though so my life may still hinge on another or even that same dicknose from before 
escape_from_hell
Arcanist
- Feb 22, 2024
- 451
Same. Made such a dumb decision. And too old to rebuild. Plus, I have proven I am not capable of sound decision making.
devils~advocate
Experienced
- Feb 29, 2024
- 245
One of the main reasons for me. Married twice,....both had infidelity to some extent.
No 1 left our 5 year marriage (7 yrs together total) for someone else that was engaged at that time. From what I could tell, that OP was vulgar, crude, etc. I guess my spouse found them attractive for being that way. I had no idea what was going on at the time.....except one day they told me they didnt want to be married anymore.
No children.
Then I got remarried to someone I thought wouldnt do this to me again.
No 2 went thru fertility treatments in order to have a child and when that didnt work out, they reconnected with someone via Facebook and started an online relationship. They exchanged love letters, photos/videos of them masterbating, etc. I found out about it & moved out. I moved back in after they couldnt pay the house mortgage. My spouse has not seen or talked to my parents in 12 years because of this event. My spouse knows they know...and feels embarrassed to make things right. I know, I know....this alone should have been a reason for me to leave. Im still with this person. No children. Maybe I feel I deserve all this.
So yes, these relationships have played a role in my decision. It proves to me how awful the world is....and that trust for some (like myself) is just an illusion.
If I had a happy relationship life, the idea of ctb would be a far away thought..
The other kind of relationship reason is... that I dont have a child. I could put up with an awful cheating spouse...but a child would have given me a reason to endure as well.
No 1 left our 5 year marriage (7 yrs together total) for someone else that was engaged at that time. From what I could tell, that OP was vulgar, crude, etc. I guess my spouse found them attractive for being that way. I had no idea what was going on at the time.....except one day they told me they didnt want to be married anymore.
No children.
Then I got remarried to someone I thought wouldnt do this to me again.
No 2 went thru fertility treatments in order to have a child and when that didnt work out, they reconnected with someone via Facebook and started an online relationship. They exchanged love letters, photos/videos of them masterbating, etc. I found out about it & moved out. I moved back in after they couldnt pay the house mortgage. My spouse has not seen or talked to my parents in 12 years because of this event. My spouse knows they know...and feels embarrassed to make things right. I know, I know....this alone should have been a reason for me to leave. Im still with this person. No children. Maybe I feel I deserve all this.
So yes, these relationships have played a role in my decision. It proves to me how awful the world is....and that trust for some (like myself) is just an illusion.
If I had a happy relationship life, the idea of ctb would be a far away thought..
The other kind of relationship reason is... that I dont have a child. I could put up with an awful cheating spouse...but a child would have given me a reason to endure as well.
oneirataxia
Everything passes.
- Apr 22, 2024
- 466
I can't be with the only person I've ever really loved. And even if I could, I'm so mentally ill to the point I'd just ruin it all. All my close relationships crash and burn and it's all my fault. And I don't ever see myself healing. I just want them to love me and to be there, and to hold on and never forget me. But I can never mean that much. It's all deserved.
Me. Was together for 6 years, things took a turn and she started to constantly berate me until I was an empty shell. Finally, when that happened, she started to sleep over at a 'friends' house all the time. She left the day before our daughters 2nd birthday. I can't see myself ever coming to terms on what has happened. Everyone has told me to be strong, but how can I when I'm a shadow of my former self?
When the SN comes I will go and free myself from this torment.
When the SN comes I will go and free myself from this torment.
not the main, but definitely contributing. loneliness overall, and being left behind my friend and family who commit to relationships and make that their priority. the lack of community and feeling i belong anywhere is a big one and i feel purposeless
bandoscii
Member
- Jun 29, 2024
- 35
BojackHorseman
The View From Halfway Down
- Feb 8, 2023
- 149
Well I have the opposite. My husband and my puppies are my sole reasons for living, period. So if he was to just up and leave me and take the puppies with him, then hell yeah I'd finally end it. I'd have no reason to continue.
darkandtwisty
Member
- Jul 10, 2024
- 96
I'm in a pretty healthy, loving relationship. But the problem is I don't love myself. I can't feel their love. I can see it but it's like there's a wall there, making it impossible to feel it. Or allow myself to feel it.
So yes and no. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with myself.
So yes and no. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with myself.
Cinnamorolls
already dead inside
- Apr 28, 2024
- 181
PTSD from past relationships and the lack of ever being able to find a non-abusive relationship are my main reasons for feeling this way, yes.
Cress
Arcanist
- Oct 15, 2023
- 436
Moniker
Student
- Nov 1, 2023
- 104
I've never been in a relationship and don't really want to. I think a big thing that keeps me going is my independence. Still, I have fantasized about having someone I could care about and vice versa, but it seems like the novelty of a relationship would wear off pretty quickly for me.
It does sometimes get under my skin that I should care about relationships when I don't - sort of this feeling that I'm not dating anyone because I'm worthless as opposed to a lack of trying. Regardless, it doesn't play a huge part in my feelings on life and all that.
It does sometimes get under my skin that I should care about relationships when I don't - sort of this feeling that I'm not dating anyone because I'm worthless as opposed to a lack of trying. Regardless, it doesn't play a huge part in my feelings on life and all that.
Deleted account 549
Bipolar | AN
- May 16, 2023
- 30
Yes and no. I didn't want to live before this guy but when we were together he gave me hope for a future where I was stable and we could enjoy each other's company and appreciate life together. So after him I feel nothing positive about life again, but it's even worse than before because now I know what it's like to be happy and have it taken away from you, especially in such a horrible way like he did.
ijustwishtodie
I have finally found my ultimate bliss
- Oct 29, 2023
- 5,796
Nope, I don't even want a relationship in the first place. I think I'd be more miserable being in a relationship than being alone
needthebus
Voted SaSu™ Member Most Likely to Succeed
- Apr 29, 2024
- 772
my body is damaged from sexual violence, making me uncomfortable with even looking for a relationship
i was also hospitalized and felt life passed me by in the hospital. i was there far too long, it wrecked the little spirit I had left. i still have physical damage from the violence and i don't feel comfortable talking with doctors anymore to see if all of it is repairable because my experience being involuntarily hospitalized was so bad. I had no privacy there, they exposed so much of me, I felt so degraded when involuntarily hospitalized that I won't reach out to medical professionals now. I didn't share many of the medical effects of being the victim of sexual violence when involuntarily hospitalized because the situation was coercive, just like the sexual violence.
it would be expensive and painful probably to try to correct some of the damage, and I am poor, I don't know what would be covered by insurance, and my interactions with the medical and mental health industry have been too negative and traumatic for me to even want to see if it's possible. I am someone at this point who probably would rather die than interact with the medical and mental health industry again, just because my involuntary stay was actually that bad
with some of the physical damage I have, I wouldn't even want to be in a relationship with my body so damaged
but not being in a relationship at this point is pretty much the main reason, but if my body weren't so damaged and violated, or if i had better family support, or if I could interact with the mental health industry in a way that guaranteed I would never be forced to take medication or held in a rooms with no stimulation and little clothing and bored, then I probably wouldn't be so intent on dying.
i also am afraid of being involuntarily hospitalized again and feel like death will free me from fears of the hospital i was at
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