lawlietsph
can we be done here
- May 6, 2023
- 283
basically just the title. i'm just venting. there is not a single second in my life that i slightly enjoy or anything.
i feel like ever since i know about the horrible nature of people, the sick and twisted mind of them, i just can't be okay anymore, there is no way.
horrible, awful, twisted and fucking disgusting things are happening every damn day. how can anyone be happy in a world like that? there is suffering everywhere - you just go out and you see it... everyone is suffering. even the bugs are suffering. all the animals in the forests, everyone is just fucking surviving and suffering. what the hell is this?
i was suicidal because i didn't have a job. now i have a job and i'm suicidal because i sit in front of the computer and i work for someone else. there is no way to be happy. just none... it's my 4th month working and i'm already burnt out, so so so so burnt out.
i hate myself for craving relationships and connections with others... but then every single time i am talking to somebody, they usually make me feel like absolute shit. like i'm annoying, unwanted, too much, etc... i hate people, they are awful
my health is declining rapidly, i feel it in my bones (sometimes literally), i am in pain, pain, pain all the time. what the actual fuck am i still doing here
all the crying... all the unneccessary goddamn crying... i can't stop it, it just comes. why? what's the point? every single second of my life is pure torture. breathing takes all my effort, and i don't want to breathe anymore. why are people so horrible and cruel?
even food... the most basic human need, it became an enemy. i feel guilty for eating every single fucking time. why? because i don't look like those fucking models on instagram. i don't even care anymore... i don't have a desire to be pretty, fuck that shit too... just let me die, please body don't attack me with these bullshit diseases that are just making me bald, fat, and be in a lot of pain, no, give me something that will take me, please! end my life, end my suffering! PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE!!
the worst thing is that i don't even have the strength to order sn... i want to save my money too much... like ever since i experienced real hunger, i am desperately holding onto money just so i don't have to experience it ever again... fucking hate every goddamn second, the moment i wake up in the morning is the exact moment when i want a bullet in my brain, to splash it everywhere and be gone already. i fucking hate people, horrible creatures disgusting
i feel like ever since i know about the horrible nature of people, the sick and twisted mind of them, i just can't be okay anymore, there is no way.
horrible, awful, twisted and fucking disgusting things are happening every damn day. how can anyone be happy in a world like that? there is suffering everywhere - you just go out and you see it... everyone is suffering. even the bugs are suffering. all the animals in the forests, everyone is just fucking surviving and suffering. what the hell is this?
i was suicidal because i didn't have a job. now i have a job and i'm suicidal because i sit in front of the computer and i work for someone else. there is no way to be happy. just none... it's my 4th month working and i'm already burnt out, so so so so burnt out.
i hate myself for craving relationships and connections with others... but then every single time i am talking to somebody, they usually make me feel like absolute shit. like i'm annoying, unwanted, too much, etc... i hate people, they are awful
my health is declining rapidly, i feel it in my bones (sometimes literally), i am in pain, pain, pain all the time. what the actual fuck am i still doing here
all the crying... all the unneccessary goddamn crying... i can't stop it, it just comes. why? what's the point? every single second of my life is pure torture. breathing takes all my effort, and i don't want to breathe anymore. why are people so horrible and cruel?
even food... the most basic human need, it became an enemy. i feel guilty for eating every single fucking time. why? because i don't look like those fucking models on instagram. i don't even care anymore... i don't have a desire to be pretty, fuck that shit too... just let me die, please body don't attack me with these bullshit diseases that are just making me bald, fat, and be in a lot of pain, no, give me something that will take me, please! end my life, end my suffering! PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE!!
the worst thing is that i don't even have the strength to order sn... i want to save my money too much... like ever since i experienced real hunger, i am desperately holding onto money just so i don't have to experience it ever again... fucking hate every goddamn second, the moment i wake up in the morning is the exact moment when i want a bullet in my brain, to splash it everywhere and be gone already. i fucking hate people, horrible creatures disgusting
