Venting i feel strangely proud of cutting myself.

[parentportaldotnet]

i dont know why, but when i look at the results of me self harming, i feel proud, i feel proud of how much damage ive done to myself. i'm obviously not proud in the sense of, "oh? this?? this is an achievement i want to show off," but looking at the aftermath makes me strangely happy.
when i make a slice in my thigh, i feel a strange sense of calm and relief that i can never get anywhere else. when i look at what ive done, i feel accomplished. i'm not sure what the point of this post is, but yeah. theres that.

 

[Merocero]

I can relate man, i feel very similar about my self harm,,

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

I really get what you mean. It's weird how the aftermath can feel like proof of what you've gone through. You're not alone in that.

I know this might sound strange to some people, but I honestly love my scars. They're a part of me now, just as much as anything else. They tell the story of what I've been through, all the nights I didn't think I'd survive, and the moments I felt like breaking apart.

 

[Blank_]

i used to have the same feeling but with anorexia. huh. interesting if it's the same mechanism behind both of them.