Venting i feel a bit happy that i will die soon enough

[hyuk✮i]

it feels so nice to know that i could kill myself in a year or two, time go so fast these days so it definitively won't feel too long to wait
i would no longer have the rambling and abusive talk of my mother, no taxes, no guilt over not being mentally stable for a job...all of this would be over!! forever!!
i am planning to flee my country so i could end in peace being forgotten and without getting buried and all that stuff, i hate my family but the burial expenses are fucking atrocious
i would probably overdose on heroin or fentanyl so i would feel good while i die, or just jump of a lonely high bridge so it would be quick + my body won't be found for a while

killing myself would be the single action i did in my entire life all by myself fully

 

[gregisss]

I rarely laugh or even smile.

But strangely, when it comes to prepare my setup to ctb. I immediately laugh loudly!

2 possible reasons:
1: because I know I'm free, I can leave when I want.
2: I'm programed to not being adapted to this messy society.