Venting i dont want to leave my family

[Zaya]

i have my differences with my family sometimes, my mom had an affair after which my parents got divorced and especially my brother has been a real asshole to me for a great part of my childhood and also s*xually abused me when i was rlly young

but i love my family... i love my parents and the rest of my close family as well

i dont want to leave them or make them sad.. especially since the only other child they have is my idiot brother..

 

[bonniebell]

I feel the same way, I'm very close with my older siblings they are really lovely and always take care of me, my dad it's a great dad and he's almost 80 yrs so I keep thinking if I'm going to kill him by ctb ying. I really don't want to hurt the only people that love me so much but life is so unbearable to me...

 

[uzuf86]

Same problem here......... but...
I think my family and people around me will be better off without me as time goes by. So that tells me I should ctb

 

[LaVieEnRose]

How feasible is sticking around for them, at least for now? Do you think you could ever make that work?

 

[Zaya]

How feasible is sticking around for them, at least for now? Do you think you could ever make that work?

I will, at least for now. I have everything I need for ctb but I still need to sort out some things that I dont want to leave for my family to deal with

 

[hopeless08]

I feel the same way, I'm very close with my older siblings they are really lovely and always take care of me, my dad it's a great dad and he's almost 80 yrs so I keep thinking if I'm going to kill him by ctb ying. I really don't want to hurt the only people that love me so much but life is so unbearable to me...

I'm in the same boat it's an incredibly difficult decision.My mom is also 80 and I have siblings that love me so much and don't deserve for me to put them through the torture they'll have to endure.
My mom I know will absolutely not survive it. It's truly heartbreaking and I feel selfish but my pain is unbearable as well, I can't go on living this way. Know you are not alone. I know there are people on here that want to ctb because they feel no one loves them and that's very sad but speaking for myself I wish no one loved me so that I wouldn't worry about making anyone suffer. Either way you look at it it's tragic and traumatic. Wish you the best