Venting I can't do this anymore

[ilovepsyschonaut4]

i want to CTB, but I want to stick around as a soul so I can watch the maggots eat at my wounds.. to see the huge flies start to swarm my body.. to smell the scent of death stick to the trees around me.. until my skin sloughs off.. and the bacteria decomposes what remains of me as if I was never there.
(am I insane for thinking this or do others on here feel the same?)

 

[Nightfoot]

I'm sorry your life has led you to the point of wanting to end it, and I hope you can find some peace. That said, I think a desire for vengeance is fairly common, but there's an old Chinese proverb that basically says when you seek vengeance, dig two graves. I think the point of that teaching is that seeking revenge destroys you, too.

 

[ilovepsyschonaut4]

I'm sorry your life has led you to the point of wanting to end it, and I hope you can find some peace. That said, I think a desire for vengeance is fairly common, but there's an old Chinese proverb that basically says when you seek vengeance, dig two graves. I think the point of that teaching is that seeking revenge destroys you, too.

I don't mind if I'm never found by anyone after I CTB, I don't need revenge and I'm likely not going to write a note even.