Discussion I can't decide if I should go with partial hanging or sn and if I go with sn which exact way I should ctb with it

[HopefulSleep]

The biggest problem I see with sn is that I don't have enough alone time at home, only an hour at max and outside I have a much higher si.
In the past I planned to ctb in a forest but got too scared there and I think it would be the same with hotels now.

The 2 ways I could ctb with that at home would be to either do it in shower or in my bed.
In shower my idea would be when my family goes shopping for one hour I could do it in the bath when they go and put sodium azide warnings in the shower so that when they come home that they think I started showering and that can take up to two hours for me so two hours are used in which I could die, then maybe after another 30 minutes they come in and then see the sodium azide warnings so they will send a special team and they treat me with more care cause of the false warning and that can save me some more minutes but the problem is I can't get the 4 hours it could take full.

The other option would be doing it when my mother goes to work and sister is sleeping and putting on whale sleep noises (obviously doing it days before too so it isn't suspicious) so that they don't hear the possible sounds sn can cause.
The problem I see with that is that my walls are thin and my sister is in the next room and in the past when I tried to overdose they heard it.
Doing it when both sleep is unreliable cause my mother is paranoid and checks on me in the night.



For partial hanging the first problem is that I can't get myself to pass out but I could try to find the perfect spot and someday I will find it out.
The biggest problem I see with that method is that it seems hard to do it painlessly and si is strong.
I think I could just tie my hands and feet so that it is harder to escape the death after putting my head down but this doesn't make it impossible.
The advantage would be I could do it instantly, I would just have to order something I could hang on online (I can only think of fitness bar for doors) and then hang myself in the one hour period alone time.

 

[Nicksy]

Hi there,

When it comes to your shower method, a sign is unlikely to work. It's very unlikely that your family will see the sign and rhink of themselves, they'd probably rush in to see if thwy can save you.

I know we all like to think that because we're thinking somewhat logically (planning etc.) that they will too, but in my experience, that isn't the case.

With hanging if you overdosing made enough noise that your sister heard you, she'll definitely hear if you successfully hang yourself. From experience, partial hanging will still make noise. There is flailing and thrashing (I only remember fitting afterwards).

Remember that with any 'failed' method of ctb there can be side effects e.g. one of my eyes waters when air blows in my face, and I end up with chapped skin around my eye. That same eye doesn't work great at all. I used to have perfect vision, still do in my right eye, but the left is constantly like when you have fuzzy eyes when you first wake up. I have nerve damage down one side, get horrendous face ache and neck pain etc.

How are you feeling right now? Is the planning helping at all?

 

[HopefulSleep]

When it comes to your shower method, a sign is unlikely to work. It's very unlikely that your family will see the sign and rhink of themselves, they'd probably rush in to see if thwy can save you.

How would they revive me without medical help?

With hanging if you overdosing made enough noise that your sister heard you, she'll definitely hear if you successfully hang yourself. From experience, partial hanging will still make noise. There is flailing and thrashing (I only remember fitting afterwards).

I wrote that I have one hour alone time when they are shopping that I could use.

Remember that with any 'failed' method of ctb there can be side effects e.g. one of my eyes waters when air blows in my face, and I end up with chapped skin around my eye. That same eye doesn't work great at all. I used to have perfect vision, still do in my right eye, but the left is constantly like when you have fuzzy eyes when you first wake up. I have nerve damage down one side, get horrendous face ache and neck pain etc.

I won't fail next time, I hate psych ward torture.

How are you feeling right now? Is the planning helping at all?

I get mentally tortured by my brain as always.