vira
ive tried almost everything, nothing worked
- Apr 28, 2025
- 108
I cant stop drinking, I really can't. every night I just go for another swig. this might sound incomprehensible as I speak because I feel myself becoming less and less sober lol.
I just miss when I could drink and nobody knew. my girlfriend outed me and is constantly monitoring whether I drink or not so I have to get drunk off FUCKING HAND SANITIZER. mind you, neither of us are attracted to the other. I used her tea she made for me as a chaser so maybe that counts... I don't even know anymore. I havent spoken to her in days, our living situation is complicated but pretty much she stays with me part time and in her own apartment the other half. I feel bad about staying with her, but at the same time shes so immature despite being a grown adult that I cant help but be selfish and stay w her for the fun of it. its not like I mistreat he or anything, I've neer been attracted to her and she knows that. I buy/make stuff for her all the time,, maybe I'm young or niave and that's why I think I don't like her but I really don't think so. I'm so sick of loving and loving and being rejected and rejected, that now, even in a relationship I cant be completely stable or actually let myself love her.
if you cant tell my V key is screwed up so some stuff might be misspelled I'm not sure. I'm just ranting here because I feel safest on this site lolol, I don't really care (both about what I'm describing and about whether people respond). I love logging in here and having my mailbox full!! stay safe guys, mods take this down if I said something stupid. thank you
I just miss when I could drink and nobody knew. my girlfriend outed me and is constantly monitoring whether I drink or not so I have to get drunk off FUCKING HAND SANITIZER. mind you, neither of us are attracted to the other. I used her tea she made for me as a chaser so maybe that counts... I don't even know anymore. I havent spoken to her in days, our living situation is complicated but pretty much she stays with me part time and in her own apartment the other half. I feel bad about staying with her, but at the same time shes so immature despite being a grown adult that I cant help but be selfish and stay w her for the fun of it. its not like I mistreat he or anything, I've neer been attracted to her and she knows that. I buy/make stuff for her all the time,, maybe I'm young or niave and that's why I think I don't like her but I really don't think so. I'm so sick of loving and loving and being rejected and rejected, that now, even in a relationship I cant be completely stable or actually let myself love her.
if you cant tell my V key is screwed up so some stuff might be misspelled I'm not sure. I'm just ranting here because I feel safest on this site lolol, I don't really care (both about what I'm describing and about whether people respond). I love logging in here and having my mailbox full!! stay safe guys, mods take this down if I said something stupid. thank you
