Venting I am super ugly so what can I do

[CynicalCyanide]

Hey,

Does anyone else feels like being really ugly is just unbearable? Everytime I got some motivation to live or have a good day, my appearance is enough to destroy it. Besides that I of course have other problems, like traumas, mental health issues, anxiety, sleeping problems, connection problems etc, but being this ugly is something I cant fix and whenever there is a spark of hope, it gets destroyed by realising how I look. Does anyone else feel this way?
I am balding and have a bad skull shape, so its only getting worse in the future.
Sometimes this is enough to make me wanna ctb, and then the other issues are still there. What can I do? I feel destined to die. You get treated like a lot less as an ugly person.

 

[NutORat]

I like looking at my shadow sometimes, when the sun is hitting just from above and slightly behind. It's because with the shadow I can imagine being pretty, the shadow me is longer and slimmer looking, as opposed to the fat, short and balding reality. A lot of the time walking outside I try to imagine how I look from a third-person perspective, only to then see my reflection in a glass pane, 10 times uglier than what I envisioned.

I don't know what to do, just have to learn to cope with it haha... I try to remind myself constantly that most people don't pay attention to these things when they look at me, or at least aren't viewing them with such ire. But that's most people. One shitty person's offhand remark is enough for me to internalize that for weeks, months, even years. And it almost always comes from someone tall and handsome, who never had to struggle with this.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

like it's awful to say, but money fixes a lot of problems. if you can think, you can always try to get more money

there are certain things doctors have a hard time fixing. they can lengthen legs, but not by much. they can increase jaw length and advance facial bones, but it's hard to do. changing skull shape is hard to do. adding hair is an easy surgery. it's one of the easiest surgeries to do.

there are doctors who do skull shape surgeries but they are so risky. it's also possible your concerns about skull shape are mostly in your head or even irrational, although i don't know.

it's funny, or maybe it's not funny: maternal health and the age of a person's parents determine so much... if you have a parent who thinks just a little bit of this or that is fine, and eats garbage and thinks it will be fine, you're so much more likely to have a hard life. that ended up being me. my mom was older, was healthy and normal her whole life mostly, and felt like "oh i can get away with coffee, a glass of wine on rare occasion, a cigarette or two a day, but i'll cut down." and lo and behold, i have various health problems.

i would also try to shift your mindset to making money if you feel that way.

but yes, it's completely horribly unfair and the world would be much better if maternal health was a bigger priority and if society encourages procreation at younger ages (like encouraged people to get married as teenagers and have children from 18-24) instead of society emphasizing school and learning with this idea that procreating in a person's 30s or 40s is somehow the same.

if losing your hair bothers you, that's something that can be changed.

 

[Dejected 55]

I cannot comment on OP's appearance because I don't know it... I consider myself to be ugly, though, so I identify with the concept.

The sad reality is... you really cannot overcome it in our society. Yes, some ugly people find someone to have a life with... it is possible to be with someone who doesn't see you as ugly to them... but you will always be ugly to most people. That's just how it is.

I think sometimes... every now and then one of those hero guys pops into the news, you know a guy who risks his life to save some people from a burning building and gets his face all burned up... he looks like you'd expect a major burn victim to look, and he always seems humble and says he doesn't regret saving the people he saved... and you'll see lots of people saying how sweet he is and how he is a super-hero and all that.

What I never see, though... is a follow-up story later of how that guy is doing once the news story dies down. Are women going out with that guy? Even knowing he is kind and sweet and a damn super-hero who risked his life and caused himself irreparable harm to save someone else... I'd be really surprised if that guy has women lining up to date him.

I think I've heard of experimental face transplants... but I'm sure that's its own set of problems.

Basically, society is really biased against people who are different, however that difference manifests... so if you are ugly whether through birth, accident, or whatever... you are going to have a tough life. Even if you get so rich or invent something and become so famous to semi-overcome it... you'll always know people are with you for the money or the fame, and not because they actually love you.

I speak this truth because I live it.

 

[OvercastingClouds]

Yes I understand how you feel. I was treated differently all my life due to my appearance, I didn't realize at first until I started getting bullied in middle school about it and then I became insecure about the way I look. However I don't go out of my way to do anything because it's mainly due to face structure and features I can't change unless I get surgery.

I'm well aware I shouldn't compare myself to those I see online and what but I guess in the end I've subconsciously been doing it and I just feel constantly bad about how I look, comparing myself to my peers also. I've been led to believe I'm too ugly to have friends, nonetheless be considered attractive to someone.

I have ideas and fantasies in my head of going out and living, wearing cute outfits, taking photos, hanging with friends, stuff like that. I get the urge to want to try something but I remember how I look and realize it isn't worth it because my face will ruin it. It's really frustrating. I can barely stand looking at myself in the mirror. My face is the only physical thing I dislike about myself. I get uncomfortable being out in public, I feel fine when I'm at home and staying anonymous.

I'll admit I get a bit envious of others. Sometimes I wish I was prettier, at best average. Never got complimented. I was hoping one day I'd get a "glow up". I guess I gotta live with it.

 

[Wolf Girl]

Yes, I posted recently about losing my hair as a woman in my 30s. I don't have a good skull shape for it either, I'll look like a man, ugh. And wigs, omg, what a sensory nightmare and you can't do anything really active in them. It sucks. I feel like ctbing immediately if I think too much about my body at all

 

[Unknown21]

Fuck the genetic lottery. I feel for you.

 

[Nightfoot]

Most people aren't going to judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. Believe it or not, the so called beautiful people have issues, as well, such as often being judged as unintelligent, vain, spoiled or not taken seriously. The good news is looks matter less the older you get, as looks fade with age.