Help how to stop cutting when I like how it feels?

[thisIsNotEnough]

Unlike most people, I don't feel like I cut because it fulfills some need right now. That is how it started for me at first, though. It gave me a sense of control and a way to release extreme emotions. But now, I do it just because I like how it feels physically. And because I specifically like the sensation of the blade slicing under my skin, seeing myself bleed, and the stinging sensation as it's beginning to heal, I haven't found anything that can replace it.

I relapsed last week for the first time in over a year due to something that was causing me extreme emotional pain, and I guess that led me to remember just how good cutting feels physically and mentally, and now I just feel like doing it all the time to feel that again.

Last night, I cut for no reason at all other than to feel it. Without the pressure of not wanting to break such a long streak, I feel like there's not much stopping me from giving in fully to the urges. I'm not set on ctb just yet, that's why I'm in the recovery session, so wanting to hurt just for the sake of it is new to me and kind of concerning.

For harm reduction, so far I've been taking good care of my cuts and my tool, and doing the minimum I need to feel satisfied. I'm also trying to only cut every few days at most. Ideally, I wouldn't be cutting at all, but maybe that's not possible for me at this point.

Does anyone have any advice for quitting or reducing cutting when nothing is effective as a replacement activity?

 

[DeusVult]

I just began cutting for the first time, and I do it just because I enjoy it in itself. I really seeing the blood on my skin, and the taste of it. I like looking at the cuts, I want more, I want to wear them like tattoos on my skin.

 

[orpheus_]

I can relate as I also kept cutting for a long time because I liked how it felt, it was one of not many things that allowed me to feel anything. Stopped for a few months because, well, once I cut very deep and had to go to the ER to get stitches. Terrible experience. I hope you will not have to go through something like that.

To replace the sensation of pain, you could try putting needles under your skin horizontally (similar to how people with needleplay fetish do it lol). Just make sure these are sterile needles, ones for injections you can buy in the pharmacy. It's very painful, but much less physically dangerous than cutting (as long as you only use sterile needles). I don't know if it will work for you and if what you're trying to reduce is physical damage, but well it's an option.

Take care, and I hope you will be able to find something that will help

 

[Ungeizefer]

Exercise was a really good tool as a replacement for self harm. It worked pretty well when I went to the gym, the only issue is maintaining that lifestyle.

If you want to replace self harm, I do suggest cardio and weightlifting. It lets you vent out frustrations and, as obvious as it sounds, does help with depression lol.

(P.S if you're worried about others at the gym judging you, people there couldn't care less. And if it's still a major worry, try to do home exercises instead.)

 

[thisIsNotEnough]

I can relate as I also kept cutting for a long time because I liked how it felt, it was one of not many things that allowed me to feel anything. Stopped for a few months because, well, once I cut very deep and had to go to the ER to get stitches. Terrible experience. I hope you will not have to go through something like that.

To replace the sensation of pain, you could try putting needles under your skin horizontally (similar to how people with needleplay fetish do it lol). Just make sure these are sterile needles, ones for injections you can buy in the pharmacy. It's very painful, but much less physically dangerous than cutting (as long as you only use sterile needles). I don't know if it will work for you and if what you're trying to reduce is physical damage, but well it's an option.

Take care, and I hope you will be able to find something that will help

Sorry to hear about your ER experience for cutting, I hope I don't get to that point and it doesn't get to that point for you again.

Yeah I usually go just deep enough to bleed, and my biggest reason not to do it as much or at all is so I don't scar.

Hmm, I hadn't thought about using needles. By horizontally under the skin, do you mean, like, getting the needle under the skin and going straight across right under the skin? I'm not into needleplay lmao. I wonder how that would be sensation-wise. I mean, I inject medication and it usually doesn't hurt at all, and never like cutting does, but I presume that's different than what you're talking about.

Thanks for the kind words <3

Exercise was a really good tool as a replacement for self harm. It worked pretty well when I went to the gym, the only issue is maintaining that lifestyle.

If you want to replace self harm, I do suggest cardio and weightlifting. It lets you vent out frustrations and, as obvious as it sounds, does help with depression lol.

(P.S if you're worried about others at the gym judging you, people there couldn't care less. And if it's still a major worry, try to do home exercises instead.)

Unfortunately I'm physically disabled so I can't exercise. I also probably shouldn't because I already basically starve myself. It's a good suggestion for anyone who is able to, though!

 

[neurotic]

I've been cut free for about 4 months. I've really struggled with this. I operate better with cuts, the pain helps me focus. Given my current career path, I'd really be messing up my life if I did it so I'm trying really hard to find other ways.

Unfortunately I'm physically disabled so I can't exercise. I also probably shouldn't because I already basically starve myself. It's a good suggestion for anyone who is able to, though!

That's so unfortunate, exercise has really helped and honestly made me feel like a kid again. It is a great alternative. I'm very skinny myself, so I eat as much calorie/protein dense food as I can to compensate.

What I'm wanting; the pain, the burn. It has to be replicated in some way. It's definitely the built up emotions I almost never act on.

Have you tried punching a pillow instead haha?

 

[Cauliflour]

I just began cutting for the first time, and I do it just because I enjoy it in itself. I really seeing the blood on my skin, and the taste of it. I like looking at the cuts, I want more, I want to wear them like tattoos on my skin.

Ayyyyyy I found another! I was starting to think I was truly alone with this.

Do any of you make mood boards made up of cutting scars found online? Or use black pen to slash your arms in ink cause it kinda looks like scars under dark pink light?

 

[Pallf]

I'm a biter, not a cutter. There were times where I bit because I loved the sensation. It felt like I was deploying energy and it sent a chill up my spine. Also did it because of mental health struggles.
I don't do it much anymore, I've replaced it with exercise. The soreness and burning sensation I get from exercising keeps my mind off basically everything else going on in my life.

 

[Hime]

I feel you... Complete abstinence will never fill that void/desire. For me it's all about distraction or finding something that scratches that itch in another way. Watching Graphic True crime helped me a lot. But I don't know, varies so much between individuals...

 

[parader]

Spanking has been a less dangerous practice of sh to me after scarring badly over almost a decade of cutting. Thankfully I like the sensation of hitting better and I find the bruises endearing in a way I never found my scars. I do it mostly with a large wooden spoon, hitting the same spot to make the skin burn (inner thighs burns lovely), it's very calming to me and the pain lasts longer while still having a bite to it. When I'm particularly overwhelmed I use the spoon handle in a stabbing motion into my sternum repeatedly, hurts more than any cut I've ever made and bruises beautifully in the chest. It usually takes over a month to heal completely but hey no scars.

edit: it's basically switching bleeding on the outside to bleeding on the inside, to me it makes sense as an alternative that hurts more while managing permanent consequences.