Venting How to feel better when you can’t change what’s wrong in your life?

[Nine0]

I'm so depressed and angry all the time, I know why I am but there's nothing I can do to change it.

My life has been a constant struggle, I was born to a drug addict and ended up getting adopted by an alcoholic with unmedicated bipolar (I'm guessing there's medicine I don't know anything about treatment since my mom doesn't get any.) my daily life for as long as I can remember has been screaming and arguing and crying. I can't really remember a time when we haven't been at each other's throats.

We have such a complicated relationship. I know she loves me but the way she acts doesn't make me feel loved, she'll tell me I'm growing into such a good man and how proud she is of me one day and the next day she'll talk about how horrible I am constantly like iv never done a good thing in my life.

As iv gotten older it's just gotten worse and worse and those occasional good days are practically non existent, I dropped out this year so iv been home constantly and It's just been a living hell. I think the only way I can keep going is if I figure out how to move out but I got my name changed as a minor and my mom never bothered to update any of my documents so I haven't been able to get a ID or a job so I'm just stuck and even though iv tried figuring out how to update things it seems impossible and it's all so confusing and complicated. I barely have the energy to get out of bed most days even if I knew exactly what I was supposed to do anyways.

I don't wanna die but It's getting harder and harder every day to persevere. I feel so alone and I have no one to comfort me anymore. How are you supposed to manage and keep going when you can't change anything? I don't feel very alive.

 

[PrincessSaturn]

Look for any and all small victories! Had a yummy lunch? A nice walk outside? Maybe found a new show or book / comic you're interested in? All of those small things can compound and help you to feel happier each day little by little until your brain is trained to look for things to be grateful for. I hope you have a blessed holiday season!

 

[hoppybunny]

Gosh that sucks so much. If u live in the us, is it possible to message the ppl in charge of your state id
https://www.usa.gov/real-id
that way u can explain ur situation and someone might be able to help with ur independence.

I'm in a similar situation except I'm an immigrant so i can't cut contact with my parents because I'm tied to them if i want to become a citizen

But I'm also at home all the time. And anytime my mother is home all she does is berate me and use me as a way to prop up her ego.

I really mean it when i say the only thing that can help in these situations is to move out. Because these ppl have lived their entire life the way they are, the chances they will change because u love them extra hard are almost zero.

Idk if this is the case for ur mother but in my case and a lot of others, parents only love u as their child but could give less than a rat's ass about u as a person.
Like if u were a stranger they would spit on u if given the chance.
So when u become an adult and have ur own personality that's not being their pet they start to freak out which is whar leads to constant arguments.

 

[iji]

u already know what u gotta do. find a job n move out. and since u seem to be a minor, u might be able to get support from the gov or sum org.

 

[nocatwaslost]

I hope you can figure out a way to get your documents sorted, get a job and move out. I know it is a long road, but I wish you lots of strength and energy.