Discussion How to communicate my rational suicide to close ones?

[RottenApple17]

It's hard to summarize my situation in just a few lines, but I'll try.
For years I've been dealing with physical symptoms (pain, dizziness) of psychosomatic origin, which over time have increased in intensity and become more and more limiting, one simply can't live like this.

The origin of these symptoms is chronic stress, caused by situations that are beyond my control and that have no solution, no matter how much I've tried to resolve them. These are not situations I can simply accept, because they are connected to very basic aspects of human existence (being able to work, developing personal relationships, etc.).

I've spent years trying to solve this, but there's no way around it. My close ones can testify that I've truly made the effort, that's a point in my favor when it comes to explaining my decision and having it respected.

We all have a limit to how much we can endure, and that must be respected, which is why I've made the decision to ctb soon.

Considering that there are no logical arguments against my decision, I would like to communicate it to my close ones. It is a completely rational decision, and after having tried everything, it is not something taken lightly or hastily.

My intention is to prevent the natural grief of losing someone close because of suicide from being compounded by everything else that comes with it: the element of surprise and the feeling of guilt that 'something could have been done.' All of this only makes things even darker for those close to me; it is unnecessary suffering.

If you were in my situation, how would you handle it?

 

[unluckysadness]

I fell you. I'm disabled too because of chronic stress. We should have access to euthanasia if it's our choice. In my family, nobody will accept the idea of euthanasia.
I think I'm like you : I tried so many things for my several health issues (mental and physical). At my age (43), I think game is over for me. I did nothing of my life, and I have huge regrets. I wanted to do so many things like normal people, but things got worse. I tried as I much as I could. I'd like to leave before my condition worsens. In an ideal world, I'd like to live a normal life, but I know it's impossible. I was never normal. It's so unfair. Now I hope heaven exists

 

[neenie]

I think that even if they understand how rational your decision is, some people will try to deter you from committing purely out of sadness of losing you. Also, whatever you choose to do, your relatives will find a way to blame themselves : that's how grief and the human mind work in general (see also : just-world fallacy, when in order to handle unpredictable unfair events you try and find a reason why it happened no matter how accurate, thus thinking you have found a way to prevent said unfair unpredictable event from happening to you).

Personally I won't tell my relatives beforehand so that they don't think they could have done something, I will remind them in my suicide note that it's not their fault and they're handling things well, and give them resources on grief by suicide, mental health, etc. FWIW as a psychology student I don't think you can prevent grief, but you can probably make it easier on your relatives and my way to try and make it easier on mine is to erase doubt and interrogation as much as possible (ie thoroughly explain why and how I'm ctb in my letter) and try to have a comforting tone (ie explain that I didn't suffer, give resources, explain how it is not their fault, have a positive framing of the situation). I've heard some testimonies and a lot of what makes grief by suicide painful, apart from missing the person, is all the interrogations surrounding the person's reasons, way of thinking, pain....

I hope you find the answers that best suit your situation! <3

 

[copioushopelessness]

I can't figure out how to post. Stupid I know. I just wanted to express regret that I threw my quick way out away.. i regret it everyday

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I'm not sure there is a way to help others understand. Personally, I have no intention of trying to explain.

 

[katara]

I have been having the dizziness one recently, it feels terrible. For me I'm very open about the fact I have no help so I don't think my suicidal thought are a shock to anyone. Tbh I just wish I was normal. I hate to think about suicide because it's not fair that terrible ppl don't feel the way I do. I guess you could try writing down ur feelings. That can be a better way to communicate sometimes.

 

[nner]

I'm wondering the same, since I have health issues also. I'm suffering terribly, and I think that they would understand to a point. But I doubt that they will support me, they will try to convince me to keep trying, to be strong, and all of that. I don't blame them, it's absolutely normal for them to do so. But I really need to end my suffering.

 

[Stormo]

Agree with what neenie above said.

However, if you do want to talk to people and try to explain things. Maybe try writing it down first to have it fully explained in a way you can think about it to prevent potential word vomit? When I try to write things like this down it becomes indescribable.

Sending love and well wishes to you

 

[TAW122]

I don't think any amount of rationalization will ever fully placate and assuage your rational suicide to close ones. As human beings and human nature in general, they will always have some aversion towards suicide and death in general. It may even be somewhat risky opening up as sometimes (again, out of human nature) may try to intervene against your decision. Anyways, whatever you choose to do, I hope you are able to find peace with your close ones.

 

[permanently tired]

If you think they won't lock you up then tell them plainly. Don't try to persuade them. I've mentioned it my mother. I think she understands my reasoning, though she will never agree with it and tells me to think differently.

Accept that there is a likely possibility they will try to deter you and disagree with you. If you decide to tell them, you've done everything you can.