Discussion How similar are you to your parents/ care givers?

[Forever Sleep]

Do you hold similar ideas on things? Similar beliefs? Were they a good influence to emulate or, do they hold some prejudices or ideas you have rejected? Do they have behaviours, maybe even illnesses that weren't nice to inherit? If you ever thought about having children or, have them, did you parent in a similar way?

I inherited a strong work ethic and compliance to follow the rules- mostly. I rejected other things- being house proud or too concerned about my appearance. Some prejudices I've unfortunately seemed to have absorbed while I'm better at questioning others.

I was raised to be polite and considerate. I sometimes fail but overall, I like the way I was raised. It gave me respect for myself as well as for others. I imagine I would raise a child in a similar way. My upbringing was almost Victorian though- my Grandma did the bulk of it early on, when my Mum died. I'm a whole generation behind effectively.

I don't think that upbringing would be good for a child now though- in this world. It results in someone too timid and easily walked over. It's another reason I'm glad I don't have children. I don't know or like what I feel I would have to equip them with to survive in this world.

 

[wham311]

Absolutely nothing like them.

I have a really warped version of myself anymore and only see the bad but I see my parents as hard working good people and I no longer can recognize when I've been eithee of those things. I know some is depression but I also just genuinely feel like ive never been rither or those things.

I've been lost my whole fucking life and don't have a shot and am incredibly frustrated by my own existence and how long I have left.

 

[ImnotCTB]

Thing I like about them is they immediately tell you if you are wrong and correct your belief before you get embarrassed by saying something not true somewhere else. And that they keep stressful things to themselves. I think it is a good habit, other people won't have to be stressed because you're stressed. Cause when you're all stressed you can't reduce stress seeing other people stressed because of you causing everyone just stressed. Also the one where they meticulously research topics just to make sure it's factual and have the reliable references and how they managed to find it to your face. I like those things.

I don't like them not listening and shusshhhing you when you try to cut in though. Then they'd say I should've said so when they go bla bla about something they don't fully know about.

Shame I managed to inherit all those habits and everything else.

If I had a child I'd raise them the same way except the shushing one, probably still do it cause it's my habit.

 

[Forever Sleep]

incredibly frustrated by my own existence and how long I have left.

I relate to this phrase so strongly.

 

[wham311]

I relate to this phrase so strongly.

Id give anything for your work ethic. Don't know if that matters to you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Id give anything for your work ethic. Don't know if that matters to you.

There's good and bad to it. It also meant I stayed in jobs I detested for years. Having a strong work ethic/ being too reliable means you're perhaps more likely to be exploited too. People will trust you to get the job done, so you can find yourself being lumbered with more.

It also comes with an accompanying sense of guilt when you aren't working. I used to find it especially difficult to relax. I'd either be working and worrying about it or, not working and feeling worried and guilty about that.

Since ideation has intensified, it makes everything seem less important. It's also diminished my work ethic or- motivation anyhow. Which is problematic because my work load is the same. It's becoming harder and harder to work when my heart isn't really in it.

I do take your point though. At least when I was younger, I had a very strong drive and willingness to work hard. I can't imagine trying to tackle life without that.

 

[wham311]

There's good and bad to it. It also meant I stayed in jobs I detested for years. Having a strong work ethic/ being too reliable means you're perhaps more likely to be exploited too. People will trust you to get the job done, so you can find yourself being lumbered with more.

It also comes with an accompanying sense of guilt when you aren't working. I used to find it especially difficult to relax. I'd either be working and worrying about it or, not working and feeling worried and guilty about that.

Since ideation has intensified, it makes everything seem less important. It's also diminished my work ethic or- motivation anyhow. Which is problematic because my work load is the same. It's becoming harder and harder to work when my heart isn't really in it.

I do take your point though. At least when I was younger, I had a very strong drive and willingness to work hard. I can't imagine trying to tackle life without that.

Irs impossible.

You start failing in 6th grade and life just gets worse from then on out.

You don't try hard at your hobbies, you don't try hard at the gym, you don't try hard at sports, you don't try hard at friends. You don't even bother going to college, at least tight away. Your resume is ass and now you're completely fucked and homeless without friends.