I'm a 29F living with 24/7 agonizing chronic pain. If I was an animal, the humane thing to do would be to put me down, but because I'm an adult women, I'm cursed to see doctor after doctor that doesn't take my pain seriously and writes me off as a hysterical women.
What's comforted me over the years is the option of being able to take matters into my own hands when I've decided I had enough. I had decided previously when the time came that I would take the SN route, but stupidly never bought any while it was still easily accessible.
Well recently, my doctors recommended a spinal stimulator that they have seen help or even cure cases like mine. But over the months, my insurance has denied me over and over and recently closed my case. Spiraling, now that my last hope of having a tolerable life is gone, I decided to buy SN, but realized it's not on Amazon or Etsy anymore. So out of desperation and not thinking clearly, I tried buying from a lab. I work for a medical school, so I put in my work credentials and my personal address. A few hours later, the lab emailed me to tell me they are cancelling my order.
Now that I have calmed down and have more clarity, I've realized the lab could try to warn my employer or send cops to my house. Hopefully that's not the case, but yet another thing to worry about.
Also, I'm devastated that my escape option has been ripped away from me. I'm facing many years left of endless pain, and it feels bleak. What am I supposed to do now? I wish someone would just put me out of my misery.
What's comforted me over the years is the option of being able to take matters into my own hands when I've decided I had enough. I had decided previously when the time came that I would take the SN route, but stupidly never bought any while it was still easily accessible.
Well recently, my doctors recommended a spinal stimulator that they have seen help or even cure cases like mine. But over the months, my insurance has denied me over and over and recently closed my case. Spiraling, now that my last hope of having a tolerable life is gone, I decided to buy SN, but realized it's not on Amazon or Etsy anymore. So out of desperation and not thinking clearly, I tried buying from a lab. I work for a medical school, so I put in my work credentials and my personal address. A few hours later, the lab emailed me to tell me they are cancelling my order.
Now that I have calmed down and have more clarity, I've realized the lab could try to warn my employer or send cops to my house. Hopefully that's not the case, but yet another thing to worry about.
Also, I'm devastated that my escape option has been ripped away from me. I'm facing many years left of endless pain, and it feels bleak. What am I supposed to do now? I wish someone would just put me out of my misery.
