How do you overcome the fear?

[MyShadow]

Goddamn this fear. I know what's in store for my future. The inevitabilities of aging. The crashing economy. The chronic pain I live in. The loneliness and the apathy from my family. The loss of my children. The plummeting American economy and the unaffordability of the basics of everyday life. The impossible dream of healthcare. The knowledge of knowing that things is getting worse for the average American. The are the reasons of why I am here, planning my final exit, yet somehow I can't overcome the fear of CTB.

Actually, I'm afraid of failing at my attempt. It's the uncertainty of success or failure that keeps me up at night. In the beginning, I was optimistic. I read multiple books and researched methods online. But when I came to this forum and read about the overwhelming number of failed attempts, it scared me and filled me with doubt.

So, my question for you is, how do you overcome the fear?
If you have already attempted, how did you push through the survival instinct?
Will you try again?

 

[lost_one]

Sorry.

I also don't know how to deal with the fear. The SI. It's a hard thing, don't think you are alone in this.

Good Luck

 

[dearlydeparted44]

Well, I don't know if there an actual "overcoming" it. You just DO IT. It's like anything else in life. When you want to start a business, you just do it. When you read all these pages and watch all these YouTube videos about starting a business, it only leads to overthinking and inactivity. I see catching the bus as the same way. Sometimes, the best thing to overcome fear is action itself. Action is the cure for anxiety.

If this isn't what you really want to do, then it could be your soul crying out. I'm not going to encourage you nor talk you out of it. I'm going to do it myself. However, if you're asking me how I pushed past S.I. in my last attempt and how I will this time, I just did it. I tried overdosing last time. I just took the pills. I cleared my mind and swallowed them. Once I did it, it quieted everything. This time, I'm just going to pull the trigger and let the chips fall where they may.

Death is coming, whether I "recover" and let life kill me however it decides to (car accident, stray bullet, cancer, heart attack, you know... the "right" ways to die), or I catch the bus. There are much worse ways I can go besides going by my own hand. Yes, I'm going to use a gun. But it will be in the comfort of a beautiful hotel room, nicely lit, and in private. I think that's pretty dignified, considering the fact that homelessness and starvation await me on the other side of "fighting on." So, whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck, peace, and serenity.

 

[unluckysadness]

I don't know how to overcome SI but it's normal

 

[MyShadow]

Well, I don't know if there an actual "overcoming" it. You just DO IT. It's like anything else in life. When you want to start a business, you just do it. When you read all these pages and watch all these YouTube videos about starting a business, it only leads to overthinking and inactivity. I see catching the bus as the same way. Sometimes, the best thing to overcome fear is action itself. Action is the cure for anxiety.

If this isn't what you really want to do, then it could be your soul crying out. I'm not going to encourage you nor talk you out of it. I'm going to do it myself. However, if you're asking me how I pushed past S.I. in my last attempt and how I will this time, I just did it. I tried overdosing last time. I just took the pills. I cleared my mind and swallowed them. Once I did it, it quieted everything. This time, I'm just going to pull the trigger and let the chips fall where they may.

Death is coming, whether I "recover" and let life kill me however it decides to (car accident, stray bullet, cancer, heart attack, you know... the "right" ways to die), or I catch the bus. There are much worse ways I can go besides going by my own hand. Yes, I'm going to use a gun. But it will be in the comfort of a beautiful hotel room, nicely lit, and in private. I think that's pretty dignified, considering the fact that homelessness and starvation await me on the other side of "fighting on." So, whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck, peace, and serenity.

"Action is the cure for anxiety". Thanks for this and for this response. I am definitely overthinking this. The only way to push through the fear is to push past it. I wish you peace in your journey.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

"Action is the cure for anxiety". Thanks for this and for this response. I am definitely overthinking this. The only way to push through the fear is to push past it. I wish you peace in your journey.

Absolutely. It's easy to get caught up in the minutia of things. Again, just like starting a business. Sometimes, action is exactly what you need. Everything else will work itself out. It's YOUR journey at the end of the day. No one else is in your shoes, nor situation. You know you. You know your situation. "Ready" isn't a feeling, it's a decision.

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

It takes knowing that your situation isn't going to get any better , that this is it .
Usually what I do is I don't think about it. I clear my head and just do it .

 

[Realgar]

Fear of failing and ending up badly injured. Fear of pain and suffering during the attempt. I am with you, having great trouble over coming the fear.

 

[idiotmother]

Did all your children pass away or something?

 

[MyShadow]

It takes knowing that your situation isn't going to get any better , that this is it .
Usually what I do is I don't think about it. I clear my head and just do it .

Have your you attempted before? How was the experience?

 

[FuneralCry]

Trying to cease existing going wrong is also what I fear, it's horrific and terrifying to me how such can happen, all I want is to cease existing painlessly that is guaranteed, I wish you the best, I hope you find the relief you search for.

 

[Niron1492]

I dont really know since i experienced that when you keep trying,you become more frightened which is not what i expected honestly.

I personally had suicidal ideation since i was 7 and more serious at 15/16 when i became atleast courageous enough to try to do it more seriously.I personally haven't attempted SN as im too stupid for that(well,maybe lazy?I just am scared of people and i dont know how you could find stuff like that.) but i did try cutting everywhere(still have scars sadly) ,drowning,i also hit my thigh with my hammer and was expecting to hit my head with it,but whenever i tried,i always blocked at the last moment and just got scared for the last 3 years and got hospitalized instead.

I dont know if what i said is just meaningless but i just wanted to share that i got more scared as i keep trying and am worried that i will end up doing something stupid that will make me paralyzed if i dont overcome this fear.

I hope you will someday find your peace,i wish you the best

 

[neenie]

My 'physiological' tips to overcome SI is to let my body get used to the situation to decrease anxiety and attempt late at night (= less inhibition, and personally being tired means I'll be more motivated to attempt because that means I'll get to go to sleep lol). I also think of the moment (ie emptying the cup) instead of the aftermath (ie nausea, loss of balance etc). Basically you have to channel your internal impulsivity hehe

 

[Hellis]

Doing all of my adhd meds LOL

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

Have your you attempted before? How was the experience?

I've attempted a lot.... each time is different