how do you ctb in the forest even though you're super sweaty and gross

[monetpompo]

i feel like taking my shirt off but then i would just have my sports bra on and also i would need to spray myself with more bug spray so that bugs don't bite me. summer is hell. i spent all day thinking about how i'd go through with my attempt today but i literally feel so sweaty. i think my brain is trying to convince me that being sweaty in the forest is worse than being emotionally abused by my mom at home.

i'm just kind of disgusting right now. i don't have anything to wipe my sweat off so i'm just stuck wearing my shirt that's sticking to my back. some bug keeps buzzing in my ear so i keep swatting it away. maybe i'm just complaining too much. i feel so annoyed that i always back down from my ctb because of the weather or fear or whatever. maybe the way i can combat this is ctbig closer to home so that i don't have to hike for so long. i've been walking for an hour or so on this trail and i'm soaked in sweat. i keep wanting to scratch my arms because sweat makes them itchy.

update: sister wants me to buy mcdonalds so i'm going home

 

[kittyloverxd]

bugs gross me out so much i would never ctb in the forest because so many insects and bugs will inside my body yuck DX and it's okay to not fully go through with ctb maybe now is simply not the time to ctb sorry to hear that things at home isn't going well :(

 

[monetpompo]

two cheeseburger meal PLEASE fix me

 

[moonlightbeach]

hey, how are you doing today?

 

[quietwoods]

Saying this exclusively for comfort reasons, if you end up making a choice for yourself in the future I'd rather you do it not being miserable.

April and October are the best months for hiking. No bugs, cool but not cold weather.

May is the worst month for bugs, avoid it like the plague. June through early September is worst for heat and humidity. November to March tend to be increasingly frigid.
Assuming you are northern hemisphere

 

[monetpompo]

hey, how are you doing today?

i don't wanna live no more. my attempt date was in june but it's july now. i feel so fried. i guess it's still an arbitrary date at the end of the day but i just wanted it to be easier for me. i spent all of summer being depressed because i kept thinking about attempting. my suicide note has been ready for weeks. everything good in my life, including seeing my friends, is reliant on me having money. being unemployed stresses me out after my other friends were able to get jobs.