Help how do you cope with being trans?

[orange.ju1c3]

I'm 19 and a trans guy. When I was in my early - mid teens, I didn't really struggle with being trans. Currently, I feel like I'm suffering with it. I don't see myself in myself at all. I imagined that once i finally started transitioning, that it would come together. I would be happy and euphoric. I haven't felt this shitty about myself in my entire life. I'm finally getting to experience a cis teenage man's life, and i fucking hate it. Not because of the man aspect. It's because I am NOT a man. Everything masculine that I desperately wish I could be, I'm not. I cannot fight like my friends do, I'm too weak. I can't eat an entire plate of food all in one shot. I'm pretty short. I can barely bond with men. It's incredibly painful to deal with and it's leaving me to consider detransitioning. I would be incredibly unhappy, but I wonder if my life would be easier for me. I feel like I have to alter my personality and my inner self to be a man, and I've lost those in the past (nearly) 2 years spent as a man. I am completely lost.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

21 year old trans man here. I don't really have any advice, because I'm also on the same path. I've at least decided that I will not detransition, no matter what (I would rather CTB), but that doesn't change the way being trans is weighing on me.

I guess the advice everyone gave me was to "find friends with similar experiences." I'm not sure if that will help you, but I personally urge you not to detransition. There is no "one way to be a man." You've probably heard that said a million times, but it's true. For instance, I'm weak and short due to a genetic disability (the cis women in my family are taller/stronger than me). It makes me dysphoric, sure, but it is just a consequence of a disorder that many cis men have too.

Still, I wish you the best whatever happens. Good luck.

 

[Riven]

I agree with the above, don't detransition. No matter how much transition sucks, detransitioning is going to be worse. Im a transfem enby, so my relationship to gender is going to be a bit different, but I can say for certain that without estrogen I would not still be here today. i also agree with the point about finding some friends you can relate better to. i went years without having any queer friends and finally getting some (that i have stuff in common with) has definitely made things better for me. my various mental illnesses are still keeping me on the verge of ctb'ing, but my friends make life a lot better.