Discussion How did you end up here?

[Darkover]

well i am fucking dying because i had nowhere to play my music that's how much of a shit hole this place is
because i had to use headphones due to living in shared housing i was listening to drum and bass everyday for 2 years straight
while getting high on weed everyday because weed increases the pleasure of listening to music the air pressure the headphone produced caused both my ears to get tinnitus because of the continued physical force caused by the air pressure my brain also got injured causing a brain injury now i am bed bound without anti psychotics this all came to head back in 2016 July time when i was 30 years old been living with this condition for 8 years now

 

[FuneralCry]

Because others so cruelly decided to impose the meaningless and torturous burden that is human existence even know nobody can be harmed by never existing with their being no need for existence at all. It truly is such a horrific tragedy how humans procreate, I wish I never existed more than anything, all that procreation does is create so much harm and pointless suffering, to exist truly is an abomiation, to be conscious and aware in this existence so cruel and futile really is beyond undesirable.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I was suicidal, found out about this site thanks to Tantacrul, and ended up signing up a few months later after my suicidal ideation got worse. That's kind of it.

 

[Vicolo cieco]

I was looking for a permanent solution to my numerous problems.

 

[Ironborn]

Tried to drown myself in January, stumbled upon this site and signed up a little later.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I tried looking for suicide methods which I could hopefully access easily to leave existence. My thought process was that, whilst pro lifers did try their best to restrict suicide methods, maybe they have accidentally missed something out. Maybe there's a small crack which they haven't took into account which I could easily access for myself. I tried looking for a place which would hopefully give me a peaceful way out of here and therefore I found this place. Whilst there were chemicals and methods that pro lifers did not take into account of fully (I'm referring to SN), I sadly still couldn't access it. I'm really disappointed that I couldn't access any method but life always has its disappointments

 

[tired12345]

Lifelong issues with mental health, decided I'd research all available options before settling on one is my story.

 

[avalonisburning]

I was doing some reading about the newsgroup alt.suicide.holiday and saw that this forum was considered the spiritual successor. I was becoming dissatisfied with the discussion and culture of the reddit board, and I assumed it's only a matter of time before it gets nuked with Reddit going public, and everyone will crow about it like they secured a huge win.

 

[redeeming_butterfly]

Because others so cruelly decided to impose the meaningless and torturous burden that is human existence even know nobody can be harmed by never existing with their being no need for existence at all. It truly is such a horrific tragedy how humans procreate, I wish I never existed more than anything, all that procreation does is create so much harm and pointless suffering, to exist truly is an abomiation, to be conscious and aware in this existence so cruel and futile really is beyond undesirable.

I haven't been here long and only noticed you today. I've read several of your posts now and recognise the patterns and repetition. I love it. Because what you say has been on my mind for a long time, again and again and again, just like the way you are repeating it. You articulate these things perfectly. I love it because it's the truth. And I don't even have to suffer to recognise and understand it.

It's these things:
Organic existence contains infinite cruel potential for suffering.
Procreation involves the preservation of all cruelty.
Non-existence harms no one.

I wish everyone the best in life and everyone should live who wants to.
I am only afraid that the preservation of our organic existence will cause us all to be reborn as any random organism, over and over again.
Am i Pro-Death?
Name it as you all wish.
I am Contra-Suffering, against any kind of cruelty.
And I would trade my bliss, if I had it, for the destruction of the universe if this frees us from suffering.
Any happy person who wouldn't do that is selfish.

There is a proverb: "a chain is no stronger than its weakest link"

Applied to our existence maybe so: Life is no more beautiful than its cruelest suffering

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Well, you see, when a man and a woman...

 

[annointed_towers]

I cursed God and He cursed me back

 

[Onelegman]

I was looking for suicide forums to find a less painful way to die.

 

[Ambivalent1]

The subreddit SanctionedSuicide with the header "Delaying the inevitable"

 

[permanently tired]

My mother cursed me with emotional instability. Childhood was pretty shit bc of her ngl. Wonder if the world could've been my oyster if she had been absent. My dad is willing to support to me any endeavor I want and doesn't force things upon me. I wish he could've been a bigger part of my life, but he worked late most days. Ofc I can't have anything bc I don't want to do anything except die. Thanks mom. Hope you suffer more than my mind can conjure.

 

[Z-A]

I was looking for furry porn and ended up here somehow

 

[abchia]

I used to lurk the site on and off for months when I was impulsively suicidal. Something didn't feel right and I was scared of myself so I didn't get too invested. Months later when I felt more in control I revisited and suddenly reading everyone's posts was comforting. Then I realized I didn't have access to the search button so I made an account

 

[m1ll1pede]

A video I found on youtube, Ive had my plan for the longest time so I might as well surround myself with people who understand me and who WONT send me to the hospital lol

 

[Crash_Bash_Dash]

Same story as @EvisceratedJester but I had no intention for ending my life for about a year and never visited the site and even shunned a bit with it because of the message Tantacrul gave. Later I found out that this site wasn't as gruesome as Tantacruel made it seem to be. Then I lurked here every now and then and then more regularly when my condition worsened in march/april and then made an account to be in a community with likeminded people. I also have found this site's features quite useful (f.e. searching threads and bookmarking etc.)

 

[unabletocope]

on the site? i have felt suicidal since 2013 and in february this year i decided enough is enough, i tried an overdose before in 2022, apparently i nearly died, i've discovered since being on this forum overdoses don't tend to work and yet i don't really like SN so i don't know what my plan is right now, other than feeling the best i can while working towards the attempt that works

if you asking about how i got here in general i don't want to talk about it

 

[kyhoti]

1. I am a despicable fellow; in my 20's I would have straight ended others for doing what I've done in subsequent decades.

2. My health has declined to the point that I am in constant physical and emotional pain.

3. If I talked to regular folks about my problems and my proposed solution, they'd lock me up.

So, searching for the best way to CTB, I came across an article claiming that this site was the most dangerous place known to human-kind, so I finally found it, figuring that it was my kind of place. Indeed, it is one of the few places I feel safe to talk about what needs to happen.

 

[tugboat]

Searching for non judgmental advice about painless eol options, and since a Sarco is beyond my financial means... here I am.

 

[LostinTime24]

Saw something On YouTube or tiktok can't remember about this site supposedly convincing people to ctb, came back when my life went to shit.

 

[untothedepths]

Being life's little fuck toy, thats how I got here.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Totally depressed, hopeless, alone with unsolvable problems, ready to attempt.

I don't remember exactly what I searched for but I found SaSu easily. I applied for an account the same night.

 

[AbusedInnocent]

Headphones are generally safer than loudspeakers as it allows you to hear the music clearly at low volume due to the sound isolation, absence of echos and reflections, low distortion and usually better frequency response.

Are you sure you're not just turning up the music too high?

By the way I love drum and bass too.

 

[ThisIsMe1357]

I started researching how to end one's life painlessly and comfortably. I discovered certain substances, the PP Hnadbook, options in Switzerland, and, during my search for pentobarbital on the internet, one of the recommended results happened to be this website. So, I looked at it more and here I am.

 

[thebelljarrr]

signed up from ash's archives after my second attempt

 

[Nettles]

You nailed it. It's exactly my thoughts.

Because others so cruelly decided to impose the meaningless and torturous burden that is human existence even know nobody can be harmed by never existing with their being no need for existence at all. It truly is such a horrific tragedy how humans procreate, I wish I never existed more than anything, all that procreation does is create so much harm and pointless suffering, to exist truly is an abomiation, to be conscious and aware in this existence so cruel and futile really is beyond undesirable.