Venting Hopefully this time will work

[cinnamonsticks]

I just started drinking, last time with alcohol was horrible so I'll drink slower and less than last time, I also have a different alcohol now (rum with coke). I hope everytyhing goes well now, I've been living with suicide and bad depression for over 3 years and all my life has crumbled down in these more than three years, I can finally do something good. I've been trying almost non-stop for the last 2-3 months to ctb, but now I have to succeed, finally. I'll do finally something good for everyone that used to be near me and mend those errors that I made, I accept I'm an awful person and that if there is heaven and hell I'lll get what I deserve, but hopefully I can just go now. If everything goes well, see you around folks!

I'm just sitting, reading a bit while drinking and will attempt partial hanging when I feel dizzy enough to overcome SI. Wish me luck.

 

[soon4good]

Hoping you luck and that you find the end result you truly want here

 

[fedup1982]

Although I really don't think it'll work given my experiences with partial I wish you luck. Remember it's ok to change your mind at any point. If you struggle with it, don't panic because life has a strange way of getting better when you least expect it. But 3 years of depression and anxiety is no small feat

 

[cinnamonsticks]

Although I really don't think it'll work given my experiences with partial I wish you luck. Remember it's ok to change your mind at any point. If you struggle with it, don't panic because life has a strange way of getting better when you least expect it. But 3 years of depression and anxiety is no small feat

Thanks, I haven't succeed with partial hanging but it's the only method I have really. Been already trying but again not working... I'm already looking for other methods like ligature and night-night but don't understand them. I also think of jumping from my window (6th floor) but I'm a chicken

 

[unluckysadness]

Thanks, I haven't succeed with partial hanging but it's the only method I have really. Been already trying but again not working... I'm already looking for other methods like ligature and night-night but don't understand them. I also think of jumping from my window (6th floor) but I'm a chicken

you're not a chicken. it's just this fucking SI which is extremely powerful

 

[cinnamonsticks]

you're not a chicken. it's just this fucking SI which is extremely powerful

yeah it just sucks, I don't even know what else to try, I'll try valsalva maneuver but I just get extremely tired after trying partial, I get dizzy and everything but just never pass out, my body stands up, and I don't think I have it in me to go against SI for jumping

 

[knickknack81]

Thanks, I haven't succeed with partial hanging but it's the only method I have really. Been already trying but again not working... I'm already looking for other methods like ligature and night-night but don't understand them. I also think of jumping from my window (6th floor) but I'm a chicken

Jumping out a 6th floor window is extremely risky. The odds of CTB from that height are not great. Even if you land head first, there is still a decent chance of survival. You would really need to jump at twice that height to have the most realistic chance of getting the job done. I am certainly not telling what you should do I would just hate to see you survive with some serious life long injury or being a vegetable. Therefore unable to CTB at any other time.

Good luck

 

[cinnamonsticks]

Jumping out a 6th floor window is extremely risky. The odds of CTB from that height are not great. Even if you land head first, there is still a decent chance of survival. You would really need to jump at twice that height to have the most realistic chance of getting the job done. I am certainly not telling what you should do I would just hate to see you survive with some serious life long injury or being a vegetable. Therefore unable to CTB at any other time.

Good luck

Yeah, I've read that at least 8th floor should be tried, so I just get really frustrated and think about it but yeah I know it would be that risky, so that also helps against it, that's why I try partial, I'm home and no one sees me but i don't get why it's so hard, so many videos do it so easily

 

[knickknack81]

Yeah, I've read that at least 8th floor should be tried, so I just get really frustrated and think about it but yeah I know it would be that risky, so that also helps against it, that's why I try partial, I'm home and no one sees me but i don't get why it's so hard, so many videos do it so easily

I hear ya. It's crazy to watch those videos of people CTB with such ease. Or at least what we perceive to be easy. None of us know what is going on inside someones head when they go through with this, or if they are on some sort of substance to put them in a different mind set. Who knows, it could be a lot of things. I always try not to think about others how have been able to get past their SI and go all out. Just focus on yourself and doing what is best for you. Because that's all you have control over.

:)be well

 

[darksouls]

good luck
hope everything goes well for you
and you find the peace you desire

 

[fedup1982]

Thanks, I haven't succeed with partial hanging but it's the only method I have really. Been already trying but again not working... I'm already looking for other methods like ligature and night-night but don't understand them. I also think of jumping from my window (6th floor) but I'm a chicken

Don't call yourself a chicken! Doing that is genuinely hard. Authorities want suicide methods to be hard! I couldn't even jump off beachy head cliffs which are literally 100m high because even at that height there's no guarantee you won't end up lying at the bottom in agony for god knows how long. It's a terrifying prospect. For example people have been known to be blown onto ledges and survive with broken limbs, and then there's the possibility that they'll never heal completely. They really should bring in euthanasia because nobody chooses to be born, I think a compassionate death should be a universal human right just like how slavery is now more or less abolished