Honestly i don’t know how to recover anymore.

[kasa]

What am i supposed to do about all the time i lost to depression?

People always say it's okay to be a little late, but it's not really true, is it? Society doesn't look kindly on those who fall behind. Even if i start trying now, i know i'll still be way behind everyone else, and that scares me.
I've always had low self-esteem and a bit of perfectionism, so if i'm not satisfied with the results, i just give up completely. There's no one around to really cheer me on, either lol
Honestly, the only reason i still want to die is not because of my past or present, but because of my future

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's a fair observation. But, if you don't try at all now, will you also regret that in the future? If you choose not to follow an ambition/ dream, what will you do instead? Will you be content doing that?

Does just doing the activity- whatever it is- bring any joy? Or, is it all bound up in achievement?

I returned to uni aged 28 to try and take my life in another direction. Obviously, that wasn't ideal but, it was that or stay rotting in retail forever.

But, I do get it. I also understand why death can end up looking more appealing- unfortunately.

 

[Hypocrite_]

What am i supposed to do about all the time i lost to depression?

People always say it's okay to be a little late, but it's not really true, is it? Society doesn't look kindly on those who fall behind. Even if i start trying now, i know i'll still be way behind everyone else, and that scares me.
I've always had low self-esteem and a bit of perfectionism, so if i'm not satisfied with the results, i just give up completely. There's no one around to really cheer me on, either lol
Honestly, the only reason i still want to die is not because of my past or present, but because of my future

I'm the same over here, can't move on but can't ctb yet. I'm just kind of in a limbo feeling like a living dead.

 

[Off_Switch]

Sometimes there's just no recovering. Billions of people through human history have given without ever recovering. in most cases, it's just suffering until you go, either on your terms or mother nature's.

 

[einsam]

The guilt for all the time I've wasted eats me from the inside out. All you can do is keep moving forward, but the guilt is always there.