Help Help me out; dealing with DID and suicidal thoughts

[fourleaftiger]

Hi there. First time poster; found out about this place today and decided to sign up to get some help from those who have fellow suicidal thoughts.

I am a person with dissociative identity and disorder. I can't control some of the suicidal thoughts I get, as they're from other alters, and honestly it's terrifying. I'm scared one day I'm going to wake up in a hospital with slit wrists due to another alter just taking over and deciding to end it. There have been some close calls before and I don't know what to do. Im in therapy 'nd all, but I don't think it helps. Can anyone help me out or give suggestions?

Thank you everyone for your time.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Absolutely terrifying.

 

[dustyrainbow]

hi! I wanted to ask if we can talk about this in dms? Unfortunately I can't message you, but I went through similar experiences - I always talk about "waking up and realizing I'm dead", if you know what I mean?
It IS terrifying indeed and I didn't find a solution so far, but I'd be more than relieved to talk to someone with similar experiences:)

 

[secretghost]

I think I might be dealing with the same but I'm not diagnosed and not at all interested in really facing my own reality with potential DID, it only came up in my life because of suicide I think and I really empathize. There are days when I feel like I'm just camped out inside watching to see what my body is going to do and there have been times where I think part of me attempted or started to attempt while I wasn't there at all. I don't have any advice but if you ever want to chat, if I'm here, I'm here. wishing you the best

 

[TheCallOfTheStars]

I'm dealing with OSDD so I feel the same way. I'm just scared that one day, one of my alters will take over and put us in a lethal situation and I'd be powerless to do anything besides watch my own end. There are times when I've hurt myself and even attempted when I wasn't all there and only realize what I had done after it happened. So the fact that I could catch the bus anytime without myself even knowing keeps me up at night.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

We have certain alters that protect from that. Do your alters have roles/jobs?

 

[fourleaftiger]

We have certain alters that protect from that. Do your alters have roles/jobs?

They do; it is hard sometimes to get those alters to front when in such a situation, though. The threatening alter gets sort of "locked" in front? If I am explaining that right. English is not my first, I apologize.

hi! I wanted to ask if we can talk about this in dms? Unfortunately I can't message you, but I went through similar experiences - I always talk about "waking up and realizing I'm dead", if you know what I mean?
It IS terrifying indeed and I didn't find a solution so far, but I'd be more than relieved to talk to someone with similar experiences:)

I don't mind messages. I'm sorry you couldn't reach out; should be open now.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

They do; it is hard sometimes to get those alters to front when in such a situation, though. The threatening alter gets sort of "locked" in front? If I am explaining that right. English is not my first, I apologize.

Ooh, that's hard one. Unfortunately the only way we've managed to fix that is by making "failsafe plans." Identifying "problem alters" and assigning protectors to watch them, while also providing them emotional support. Strengthening any boundaries that are meant to keep certain alters from fronting.

It isn't an easy feat, and you'll often see less-dysfunctional plurals/systems getting mad at those who lock up or force dormancy on "problem" alters. The issue is that healing isn't always pretty, and keeping the system alive is paramount until the suicidal alter can be helped.

 

[Persona3]

Among other things, I suffer from identity issues and have multiple alter egos, but compared to you, I'm merely a fake because I don't have DID

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Among other things, I suffer from identity issues and have multiple alter egos, but compared to you, I'm merely a fake because I don't have DID

Dissociative experiences of all types are just as valid. There is no comparing.

 

[underairpressure]

I am a person with dissociative identity and disorder. I can't control some of the suicidal thoughts I get, as they're from other alters, and honestly it's terrifying. I'm scared one day I'm going to wake up in a hospital with slit wrists due to another alter just taking over and deciding to end it.

I'm in a very similar boat, I also have DID/OSDD and worry about this a lot. A few of our "parts"/alters are prone to suicidal/dangerous behaviour when in intense distress. And we unfortunately have very little control over who's fronting and such. We've definitely had our own close calls.

I wish I had advice for you, but....... we haven't made much progress ourselves. The best we've managed is, a couple times, another "part" would be co-conscious and would pull the suicidal alter into a conversation, or redirect them, until they calmed down or wore themselves out. But, that relies on another alter being present and able to help........ that's one of the big hurdles we face ourselves.

 

[mychois]

Until now!

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Oh fuck. Their account is gone. I hope nothing happened...