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T

TrulyNeverCertain

I'm not entirely sure...
Jan 18, 2026
3
Hello! Thank you for having me!

I unfortunately am at a point where CTB seems to be the best option, and this forum seems to be the best place to have conversations that I cannot have elsewhere.

Here are my goals while here:
  1. Try to make sure I have things as tidy as possible prior to CTB
  2. Try to reduce trauma for myself and others as much as possible
  3. Ask for feedback, such as asking if I'm being too rash with my decision-making
  4. Talk to like-minded people (maybe those in a similar situation), and maybe have good conversation
  5. If I'm lucky, find a way to survive. Maybe hear from others if they found an unexpected or obvious way out

A lot of other posts have addressed much of what I have for 1 and 2, but there are still some things to ask about, so this post will focus on my 1st and 2nd goals (as listed).
I will probably make post(s) to address 3, 4, and 5 in the future, as well as to share my situation, thoughts, and more about myself.
Private messages are welcomed (as soon as I can access them)!

Currently, my plan is to have as many logistical items figured out as possible, and I will be evaluating monthly if I'm ready to CTB, because it would not be fair to others if I didn't prepare accordingly.

Below are some of my current priorities, if anyone wants to know:
Things to do:
  • Write Goodbye Note
Things to research:
  • Further research SN, the method I'll probably choose, but it already looks like the best approach
  • How to address some of the post-life things relating to name and identity and such

Questions:
  • Should I try to get my suicide note, or an attached 'cover note', notarized?
  • Do I CTB while in a body bag?
  • Do I CTB in a Hotel or rented apartment?
  • Below trauma reduction question

Trauma Reduction Question:
In terms of trauma reduction, I plan on reaching out to the last person I would consider a friend, and letting them know that I plan to CTB.
This is intended to give them the opportunity to ask why and such, and hopefully soften the eventual notification of my departure, so they've already pre-processed and hopefully the news is hopefully a softer blow.
For this, the goal of trying to lessen the impact on that friend and I've accepted that intervention might be attempted or initiated.
For the sake of that friend's wellbeing, is this plan ill-recommended?
Edit immediately after posting: Adjust for editing deadline
 
Last edited:
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lpdsvm

lpdsvm

Member
Jan 11, 2026
91
A bag is a good idea if you really want to disturb nobody or not too much. I might do it, too.
The issue is it will make some noise I think when having convulsions while being unconscious. If no one will hear it's fine.
Choosing a hotel is good. I believe you got it all.

Make sure that hotel staff won't try to disturb you. I don't know. They could call or come and offer extra services. I was in simple hotels so I never had that thing. They never disturbed me.
Another thing, people die and I have seen a dead body. I saw them unexpectedly too. It was gross. It made me uncomfortable. It will make me uncomfortable no matter the cause of death. People die all the time so as for me I will prioritize me and a bag or not only if it doesn't make me uncomfortable.
 

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