amor.dor
Não existência
- Dec 24, 2025
- 340
I have another self that comes out when I'm drunk, and I don't know why. When I want to kill myself, I become a 'he'—it's bizarre. Once, I tried to end it all with two boxes of lithium and clonazepam, but I woke up in a psychiatric hospital where I actually got better for a while. It was terrifying to black out from the pills certain I was going to die, only to wake up in a hospital with a roommate; but I made good friends there.
When I drink too much alcohol, I wake up to a clean house and business deals done. I woke up today with extra money and saw it was from a service I performed—something I learned how to do but had too low self-esteem to actually try. Who is he? I always write in my diary, but I notice that when I dissociate, I only see words in messy, shaky handwriting saying that I fulfilled something... I dissociate to save myself. It's so bizarre; I don't understand.
My arms hurt, I felt like I'd hit them, and they were scratched.
i'm so confuse...
When I drink too much alcohol, I wake up to a clean house and business deals done. I woke up today with extra money and saw it was from a service I performed—something I learned how to do but had too low self-esteem to actually try. Who is he? I always write in my diary, but I notice that when I dissociate, I only see words in messy, shaky handwriting saying that I fulfilled something... I dissociate to save myself. It's so bizarre; I don't understand.
My arms hurt, I felt like I'd hit them, and they were scratched.
i'm so confuse...
