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mr-ant-tennas

mr-ant-tennas

cat petterz
Dec 29, 2025
14
I plan to ctb by May. I've ordered the KN and I'm slowly putting together a plan. But I'm having second thoughts. I don't want to live for some grand purpose, but I want to stick around just to see the endings of my favourite games at least. Is that a cowardly request to life? Am I unworthy if I postpone?
 
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M

maylurker

Experienced
Dec 28, 2025
275
Is that a cowardly request to life? Am I unworthy if I postpone?
no why would you think that? i wish i could live long to see how the world changes too
 
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NutOrat

NutOrat

Falling Down
Jun 11, 2025
306
Is that a cowardly request to life? Am I unworthy if I postpone?

No reason to postpone would be cowardly or would make you unworthy. There is no rush (I know it can seem there is), but if you truly believe in free choice, then there is also no obligation to follow through with it, only you decide, and no-one has the right to judge you for it.

I also have games I want to play when they come out (Outward 2 especially), and other media I want to see the end of (Made in Abyss), and I'm willing to wait till then. Is this a small reason to keep living? Sure. Is that in any way bad? Why would it be? Also, I assume you mean Deltarune for one of the games, but what are the other ones? I'm curious!
 
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RosebyAnyName

RosebyAnyName

Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
Nov 9, 2023
409
I don't think so. It's always going to be a personal choice, and I've also postponed my date just to "see what will happen". In fact, I've also postponed my date because I want to see how a fictional story I'm following will end, the only reason I don't use that excuse anymore is because nothing interests me. No harm in wanting to stick around for a bit longer if the timing doesn't feel right.
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Angelic
Mar 21, 2019
4,116
Nobody should end it until they are truly ready.
You are not.
Go easy on yourself. Life is tough enough!
 
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H

Hvergelmir

Warlock
May 5, 2024
726
Am I unworthy if I postpone?
What does unworthy even mean in this context? What authority are you appealing to?
You have no obligation to kill yourself. Most choose not to.
 
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mr-ant-tennas

mr-ant-tennas

cat petterz
Dec 29, 2025
14
What does unworthy even mean in this context? What authority are you appealing to?
You have no obligation to kill yourself. Most choose not to.
My ex fiance would say that I was always too much of a coward to CTB. Between the two of us, he'd be more likely to CTB. It is mostly his words that haunt me. Maybe I am a coward indeed.
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Angelic
Mar 21, 2019
4,116
Or you choice of fiance was the problem.
Enjoy them being gone.
 
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moonlightbeach

moonlightbeach

close your eyes and you'll leave this dream
Jul 14, 2025
150
I want to stick around just to see the endings of my favourite games at least
Go for it, i'm not in haste because i am sure of my suicide. Time will tell you and you'll feel it. If you've had any attempts or have had suicidal ideation for a long time it makes sense you're more stable about it. It's your property and you have control of it
 
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Hvergelmir

Warlock
May 5, 2024
726
It is mostly his words that haunt me.
Mean words, but there's no honor or anything to reclaim here. He probably don't want you dead, and if he do, that's even more of a reason to ignore him.
If you want to prove bravery and courage, there are better ways.
 
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E

eternalpace

Student
Oct 18, 2025
198
There's nothing wrong with having a variety of thoughts about CTBing. In your case, May is five months away so you have plenty of time to see how things go, research your method, and make sure that you truly want to CTB.
 
OnMyLast Legs

OnMyLast Legs

Too many regrets
Oct 29, 2024
1,088
I'm having second thoughts now that my anxiety is lower. Silly as it sounds, I suffer less when I drink less coffee. Maybe I can reach a state of mind where I can "start over" in my late 30s.
 

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